Imagination

Angela Porter 20 June 2018 watermarked

A little drawing for today, including some iridescent paint.

Imagination is important. Einstein said, “Logic can take you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

My art is often imaginative, nearly always intuitive, and this is an example of both.

Hand lettering and entangled drawing

Angela Porter 14 June 2018 watermarked

This morning I finished the coloring templates for Entangled Butterflies. I do have to edit some of them, but I decided to take a break for the rest of the day and work on some ideas that flashed in my mind. These two drawings/illustrations are the result.

I like the abundance one very much. Daisies seem to be my thing at the moment. The inspire one was much better until I added shading to the banner, and then the yellow. It’s all a case of learning for the future.

Both hand drawn using a Sakura Micron PN pen, and colour added using Faber Castell Pitt Artist brush pens.

Wednesday Wisdom 13 June 2018

Angela Porter 13 June 2018 watermarked

#wednesdaywisdom

A strange bouquet or a weird tree, with a wise quote above it. I really shouldn’t have continued to add elements to the drawing once I’d added the quote, but it is as the quote says, small steps in the right direction of learning.

It’s #wipwednesday over on the Angela Porter’s Coloring Book Fans facebook group.

Lazy, arty, Sunday afternoon

Angela Porter 10 June 2018 watermarked

I dug out one of my Lamy fountain pens, which had a black ink cartridge in it. I swapped the black for green, and drew this on some bristol board.

From time to time I dipped the nib in the black ink so I had some gradients and variation in the drawing.

It was fun to do. Also, it’s been a while since I drew with pen on paper; most of my work of late has been digital drawing, with the occasional pencil/pen sketch on paper.

mhaw2018

Angela Porter mhaw18 16 May 2018Today sees me do my third anti-stigma talk for Time to Change Wales as part of Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) 2018.

I am tired this morning.  Each talk I do is emotionally draining. It also takes a lot of energy for me to keep up a happy, smiley and laughing mask when in public and not to get overwhelmed by my story and allowing aspects of it to re-traumatise me.

I put myself through this for some good reasons, and one of them is NOT attention seeking (which is what my narcissistic mother would say).

I really do believe it’s time for the stigma and discrimination that surrounds mental illness comes to an end.  I know it’s not going to happen overnight, but little by little.  I tell my story to give people an insight into what it’s like to experience depression, anxiety, hyperperfectionism, hypervigilance, emotional flashbacks, being overwhelmed by choices in a supermarket, not being able to get out of my car when I go to somewhere I want to visit, being in fear of going to do a job I used to love when I was a teacher, and more, CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder) is so complex.

I also want people to know that little changes in the work place can help people remain in work.

I want people to know that the social stereotypes of depression, anxiety and so many other mental illnesses are incorrect and that they lead to be people being stigmatised/prejudged and treated differently/discriminated against as a result of the urban myths that exist.

The more we can have conversations, the more people open up about what it’s like to experience mental illness, the more people will, hopefully, have a better understanding and the urban myths will lose their power.

Not only that, the self-stigmatisation that results in people not seeking help, acknowledging they are not thinking well of themselves, will result in people seeking that help and advice they need earlier.

On a more personal level, telling my story is helping me ‘own’ it, and though I still minimise the traumas I’ve experienced from a very young age, it’s helping me understand that they are not small little things that everyone goes through, as well as me understanding that it’s profound effect they’ve had on me that is the important thing as well as having counselling/therapy to help me heal from my past and have a healthier way of thinking about myself and living my life without avoiding all kinds of things for fear the same things will happen again and again.

I come home from a talk emotionally drained and tired; I either want to nap or just draw, or both, but not at the same time!

When I draw I like to just draw intuitively, drawing on my visual vocabulary of favourite shapes and patterns, and just let them flow onto the page. I can lose myself in that flow, I’m able to enjoy drawing familiar motifs and patterns and the intricacy of my work. Just letting things flow, drawing for the pleasure and contentment it brings me, the calmness that results, lets me put to oneside the anxiety I can feel when I’m creating for a particular contract, to put aside my hyperperfectionism and just go with the flow in a way that can be difficult when I’m drawing for a publisher and can add anxiety and frustration when I need to draw for peace and calm.

And that’s what this drawing helped me to do. Today, I hope I’ll be able to draw again, however after the talk today I’m taking a friend out for ice-cream and I think I have something occurring this evening too.

MHAW18

Angela Porter20180515

Today I give the second of my anti-stigma talks for Time to Change Wales.  Today, it’s just a couple of miles down the road from me.

I was tired yesterday after my talk; not physically tired, emotionally tired, and I still feel a little so this morning.

I started drawing this before I went off yesterday, did some more work on it last night and finished it this morning.

Art really helps soothe my emotions and helps me find that place of calm, contentment and balance.

That’s my #tuesdaytip.  Find something you can lose yourself in, that brings you peace and calm and contentment and a break from the stresses, worries, problems of life. It’s all about self-care. For me it’s art or making music, sometimes taking a walk, and mindfulness meditation. For others it could be gardening, baking, woodturning, swimming, cycling, or any one of a myriad activities that bring peace and contentment.

Shine

Angela Porter 25 april 2019 small

Phew, this took some doing…

I tried four or five times to create this quote illustration using traditional media this morning.  I failed each time; they just weren’t right at all. I’m still really anxious/stressed from the debacle of a car breakdown at the weekend.  Once my stress hormones are elevated, it takes a goodly while for them to leach away.  It takes a good while for this to happen as I’m much more susceptible to being startled or becoming even more anxious.  I know from past experience that eventually things will return to a less stressful level.

So, in frustration, I turned to my trusted trinity of Surface book, surface pen and Autodesk Sketchbook Pro and created this one.

I’m learning how to set up pens in Sketchbook pro, and finally have one that mimics a roundhand nib. My hand-lettering is still a bit wonky, but I finally have something I like.

The background was made using traditional media by myself – distress inks on mixed media paper, scanned in to the ‘puter so I can make use of them.

Drawing on the surface is almost like drawing on paper, but without the eraser mess.

I do need to create more backgrounds for me to use now I’ve got my head around doing that.

I chose this piece of wisdom for #wednesdaywisdom because it is relevant to myself at the moment and the healing I’m going through in my EMDR therapy. I’m sure, however, that it is relevant to many, many people.

On another note, it’s #wipwednesday over in the Angela Porter’s Coloring Book Fans facebook group. I keep saying it, but they’re a lovely bunch of people, friendly, supportive and appreciative of each other.  Why not pop along, join up and say hello?

Also, don’t forget A Dangle A Day is available for preorder  as is Eerie Entangled Art.