Inktober 2018 – Day 7 – “Exhausted”

Angela Porter Inktober 2018 Day 7 - Exhausted

Exhausted is how I feel today, so the prompt is very apt!

I woke with a migraine-type headache, and it’s only recently begun to lift, after quite a few Anadin Extras (it’s ok – I kept within the recommended dose!).

Headaches like this leave me exhausted afterwards; it’s only a good sleep that helps to remove the last remaining vestiges of them. Maybe I’ll nap in a while.

What hasn’t helped is yet another day of hammer-drilling next door. I’d’ve gone out if (a) I could see to drive properly and (b) I wasn’t expecting a delivery of a new printer.

My Epson printer died on me on Friday. Terminally died on me. It’s not been used that much. It has been used for scanning more than printing, but it just refused to work, no matter what I did.

I wasn’t very happy with it. The ink jet thingies didn’t work well after a while and I got streaks in the printing – no matter how often I cleaned them. I only ever used genuine Epson ink cartridges.

The scanner was really slow too.

So, I’ve returned to a Brother printer; this time a mono laser printer, and it arrived today and I managed to set it up relatively easily.

So, my Inktober drawing for today is above. I drew it on paper with a black Papermate Ink Joy gel pen. I scanned it in (didn’t check the settings so bits of top and left are cut off).

Then I threw it into Autodesk Sketchbook pro to change the colour to one that looks more washed out and exhausted, just how I feel – blue and grey and pale at the moment.

I wanted to add colour to the hand-lettering, but the headache means I couldn’t be arsed to do so at the moment.

My drawing skills aren’t brilliant on this one. The headache has affected my vision a tad as well as giving me slightly wobbly fingers. As the headache goes, all will be well again – and it’s nowt to be worried about; I get these headaches from time to time and I’ve not had one for more than a month now I think.

So, once I’ve finished this post, I’ll be off to make the great restorative – a good mug of Yorkshire tea! I think I may be able to face a little something to eat too, which could help too to lift some of the exhausted feeling.

Inktober – Day 3 “Roasted”

Angela Porter Inktober 2018 Day 3 - Roasted

It’s taken me a good 2 or 3 hours to create this one!

The ‘roasted’ element is the background colour scheme. I created the roasting hot background with Distress Inks on Daler-Rowney mixed media paper (3″x7″).

I then used Ohto Graphic Liner pens to draw the design and added gold and white highlights to some of the design elements.

I like this one; the colours are what make it for me!

#inktober2018 #inktober

Abstract botanical 13 September 2018

Angela Porter 13 September

I managed to finish colouring my WIP from yesterday. I have changed the colours of some elements and darkened the background.

Now, I’m working on the drawing for the next one.

One day, I’ll work on completing one or more of these with just colour and not black outlines, maybe.

Line art drawn with Sakura Micron pens on paper.

Scanned art coloured using Autodesk Sketchbook Pro, Microsoft Surface Pen and Microsoft Surface Studio.

Work in Progress Wednesday

Angela Porter 9 September 2019 02 coloured small1

This was drawn on paper with Sakura Pigma Micron pens, scanned in and is in the process of being digitally coloured in Autodesk Sketchbook Pro. I’m using my Surface Studio and a Surface Pen, both from Microsoft.

The background may go a little darker on this one, but I’ll decide on that when I’ve completed colouring the design elements in.

It’s also work in progress Wednesday over on the Angela Porter’s Coloring Book Fans facebook group. We’d love to see your colouring works in progress of pages from my coloring books. Why  not pop along and join in? You’d be very welcome there.

Monday musings

Angela Porter 28 August 2018

It’s been a little while since I’ve done an illustrated quote. Today, I was drawn to one by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, and even though it was written over 200 years ago, it still has relevance in our time.

I printed the words out and then used Ohto Graphic Liner pens to draw the illustration around it. After scanning the image in, I used Autodesk Sketchbook Pro to alter the colour and add my watermark.

A nice way to spend a damp, sometimes drizzly Monday morning here in the UK. The schools return, the teachers at least for their day of training/preparation for the return of their students in the coming day(s), the interminable meetings where so much information is passed on it’s hard to retain it, let along digest it!

I do not miss this one bit. I loved teaching – the actual teaching, helping pupils to grow and develop, not only as little scientists but also as human beings and in confidence and self-belief.

I do not miss the huge number of meetings, the constant change, the challenges of behaviour/attitudes that changes in society have wreaked, the homogenization of teaching strategies…and so much more.

I’m feeling grateful this day that I get to do what I love, to make a new career from it, to continue to help people through my colouring books, and in other ways too.

I was once ignorant of the fact that I could do something else with my life, I thought I’d be a teacher until I reached retirement age, and that I would struggle more and more with my mental health and emotional health over time. I was also ignorant of the fact I had depression, anxiety and more – willfully ignoring the signs, denying that it was a problem, that I was just tired, or it was the result of a verbal attack or poor behaviour or even a physical threat at the end of my time teaching.

I was ignorant as I chose to ignore the facts of what was happening to my mind and emotions.

It must have been a terrible thing for those who truly knew me (not many, one maybe, thanks to the carefully crafted mask of happiness and jollity that I wore all my life when with people, very different behind closed doors with no one around to observe) to see how I was plummeting downward, to have me dismiss their observations with the excuse ‘I’m just tired’ or ‘I’ve had a tough day’ or ‘So and so did such and such yet again today and it got to me. I’ll be fine after a good night’s sleep’.

Eventually I had no choice but to get help, to have months and months away from teaching so that I could recover just enough to return and last another eight months.

I know now my ignorance of my own well being wasn’t out of innocence about mental health issues; instead it was borne out of the messages I had as I grew up from the mother, from society, that to have depression, to be anxious, was a shameful, weak thing and there was something wrong with you if this was you.

I stigmatized myself, and prevented myself from getting the help I needed for a long time.

I was ignorant as I willfully ignored the facts, the evidence that was right in front of me, staring back at me whenever I looked in the mirror. It wasn’t innocence. I knew about mental illness, mental ill-health, depression, anxiety, but I refused to consider that was what was wrong with me.

Ignorance, ignoring the facts, the knowledge or applying it as it didn’t suit what I wanted to believe.

To give myself a bit of a softer time, I’d never known anything but depression and anxiety, ever that I can recall. So, to me, the worsening state of my mental/emotional health was just me being worn out by the day, the week, the term (semester) or academic year.

It took a very skillful and understanding GP to help me see that I needed help, and I took it, and still am with my weekly therapy sessions.

That’s a personal example of why I don’t see innocence and ignorance as the same thing with reference to the quote.

Abstract Botanical 28 August 2018

Angela Porter 28 August 2018

Another abstract botanical. This one has gold dot highlights as well as white dots. Fun to do!

I dug out my old Ohto Graphic Liner pens to draw this one. I’d forgotten all about them until I was looking for some new Uniball Unipin pens in my pen stash.

The Ohtos are roller ball pens with pigment ink which is waterproof and fadeproof. The beauty of a roller ball, unlike fibre-tips like the unipins or Sakura Microns, is that the roller ball tip is practically indestructible, even for one with a heavy hand like me.

They work well on the lightly textured hot pressed watercolour paper I used (which is 10″ x 14″ in size).

I applied the colour first, then worked with the way the colours spread and mixed to draw the patterns generally, though I do work rather intuitively.

Abstract Botanical 27 August 2018

Angela Porter 27 August 2018 small

Started yesterday, finished this morning. Another intricate, abstract botanical

I coloured the paper first and worked with the patterns made, mostly. Intuitive drawing with detail and intricacy and black lines is my favourite to do. Botanical things, abstract motifs, from my imagination are also some of my favourite things to draw.

My colour choices are a bit different for me, the way I blended the colours resulted in some unusual, subdued, almost grungy tones. I think I like it.