whimsical art

It’s been a while…again…sigh.

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It’s been a heck of a year, this 2024. Between anaemia, fatigue and brain fog exacerbated by COVID followed by tonsillitis in the last couple of months and other things going on, it’s been tough to focus long enough to post anything much to social media.

I haven’t done as many colour templates as I usually would in a year for the Angela Porter’s Colouring Book Fans facebook group.However, I’ve managed to get three done in the past couple of weeks and I’ve just uploaded them to the group. You can see the templates at the top of this post.

I’ll also be making them available for free on my Ko-Fi store. In both instances, terms and conditions for use do apply.

It’s soothing for me to draw and create, but so hard to put words onto a page, or into a YouTube video. I have, however, done a few Draw With Me live streams, which are easier for me to do than record, edit, upload and so on – less brain power needed.

I’ve also learned a lot about my art in the past year. Understanding what is an expression of myself, including in some ‘styles’, and accepting this has been a significant step forward for me. There’s more, but I’ll blog about it another time. The fog is closing in, and I have more to do today…

I know I’ll get better. I’m taking B12 and iron if it’s anaemia. If the fatigue is due to long COVID and/or perimenopause, things will also improve in time. I just have to learn to pace myself and not overdo things on a day when I have lots of energy (or when I’m masking my tiredness to interact with others). This is most definitely a work in progress.

Also, I’ve realised that I must draw designs/sketches before inking in digitally. My mind just can’t adapt to drawing entirely digitally. On paper, I quickly have an overview of the whole design and how it will appear to others’ eyes, too. I don’t get that sense digitally. So, I think that tradigital is a way for me to work – traditional pen drawing with digital colouring.

There is one exception to this, however. That is the drawing of geometric designs such as tiles and mandalas. I seem to be able to do them so much more easily digitally as I can concentrate on the lines and shapes I’m drawing rather than focusing on the maths and measurements.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been getting used to my XPPen Magic Drawing Pad for drawing mandalas and adding colour. I’ve found that I like Sketchbook and ClipStudio Paint for designing and adding colour.

I really had hoped that the Magic Drawing Pad (an Android tablet that has a paper-like screen and the ability to draw smoothly accurately and with large artwork) would make it possible for me to use it instead of a paper sketchbook. I’ve tried so hard, but my brain just won’t adjust. C’est la vie!

The things that make me different…

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It’s been a few weeks or so since I last posted on here, YouTube, and other social media. The reasons are simple yet complex.

Simple because I’ve been low in energy and oompf once again. I’m not entirely sure why, and that’s why it’s also complex.

Having some people-y times is one thing. A kind of low mood and sadness have been lingering, and along with it, the shadows of comfort eating have encroached on my being. My ability to focus is limited, too. I have a fairly firm inkling that there are a couple of other things rumbling under the surface of the blanket of antidepressant meds. Ultimately, I think it may be a combination of menopause and the lingering effects of the huge burnout last year. Recovery from such burnouts can take a lot longer than I think they will. When I push myself, such as people-y times, then all I do is cause a bit of a relapse.

Still, throughout these weeks, I have been creating art. Creepy, Cute stuff was a staple of my arty being for a number of weeks, and I thoroughly enjoyed creating it. It makes me smile, and sometimes, it almost feels like there’s a tale to tell about the images.

Over the past week or two, however, I’ve been delving into the worlds of Danielle Donaldson. I have owned her two books for a while, though I haven’t done much with them. They’re based on watercolour, and that is still a medium that vexes me greatly.

I love her style of art very much. It really appeals to my sense of whimsy. So, as watercolour is something I struggle with, I thought I’d approach some of her exercises to develop some skills and understanding. I have to say that the ones that involve colour mixing and creating squares of colour have been a lot of fun! Some success has been had with the exercises, especially in mixing colours I never would’ve tried mixing. I am fascinated with watercolour’s ‘magic’ qualities, whether in paint form or watercolour pencils.

When I try to add watercolour to drawings, it all tends to go to pot …

As far as drawing goes, I got it into my head to try to draw some of Danielle’s ‘Littles’ – people, that is!

Yes, I know. I’ve always said I don’t do people! However, there is something quite delightful about her style of drawing ‘littles’. Also, it was a little change from the creepy-cute critters and characters!

I have had a lot of fun drawing ‘littles’ inspired by Danielle Donaldson. Indeed, the ‘little’ above is one I drew today, and it kind of represents me! Is it coloured with watercolour? NO! I gave in and used marker pens; that is the way forward for now.

Another thing I explored from Danielle’s tutorials in her books was using a fine mechanical pencil to draw the designs instead of ink.

Pencil instead of pen just doesn’t feel right to me. I don’t know why. I have, however, used a finer pen to draw the designs than I usually would. In the example above, I used a 01 Unipin fineliner; usually, I use an 05!

The hand-lettering in the drawing above *rolls eyes*has let me down. However, the words have meaning to me. Recognising and accepting the differences in me and understanding their source has been an adventure over the past twenty months or so. It’s an adventure that will continue for the rest of my days, I’m sure.

Naturally, I will persevere with the ‘littles’, which are delightfully wonky, as are the whimsical critters and creepy cuties I love to draw. Learning to embrace that wonkiness is a work in progress; the perfectionist in me demands symmetry, not wonky! I can see how wonky adds to the whimsy, interest, and delight of the drawings.

Two Stylised Flower Designs, Both WIP

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Yesterday, 1 July, and today I had a lovely time drawing and adding colour to some stylised flowers. The designs aren’t complete.

I need to add a background texture and a delicate pattern to the one on the left. I’ll do that digitally. If I try to do it now, I’ll end up messing up as I used watercolour inks to add colour. I also recorded a YouTube video of the process (view it here).

A background pattern or texture is needed on the one to the right and textural patterns being added to the flowers. This time, I remembered to add some background colour using Distress Inks. Again, I used watercolour inks to add colour.

I am spitting feathers, though; as for the drawing on the right, I recorded a video and promptly managed to delete it … permanently. Duh! I feel such an eejit! So, I’ll remake the video soon, I’m sure.

Draw With Me – A Whimsical Bird, Part 3 – Starting to add colour.

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Click on this link to view the accompanying video on YouTube. Cheers!

Today, I’m experiencing some emotional ‘weather’. I know what the trigger for this is. I know what to do. And I also know that being creative will help me greatly. So, I decided to start to add colour to this bird drawing.

This may not be the best time for me to tackle colour. I feel I struggle with colour at the best of times. Still, I worked with a limited colour palette of blues and turquoises, as well as yellow, orange and red.

The Distress Ink on the paper reactivates with water, so there is some ‘greening’ of the blues. I’m fine with that. The mixing of colours will lead to a bit more harmonious outcome, I trust.

Oh, I’m using Karin Brushmarker Pro pens to add colour. They have watercolour ink in them, so I’m scribbling them onto a white plastic palette and using them from there. This way, I have a bit more control of the intensity of colour and how they blend and mix.

So far, so … OK I think.

I now need to work out how to tackle the body of the bird. Do I use masking fluid to cover the dots before or after painting the body? Should I use something like a gel medium to seal the dots once I’ve coloured them in before tackling the body? Or what about a clear glaze pen, even though the dots will be slightly raised and shiny?

I don’t have any masking fluid, but I’m not sure what I want to do. So it’s time to sit and let the possibilities be worked through in my subconscious to come up with a decision.

One thing’s for sure, however. I will not be starting work on the flowers and leaves until the bird is finished! And I will need to be careful about the colours I choose. That’s where it can all go totally wrong.

For the rest of the day, I’m going to lose myself in some hand-lettering practice in my hand-lettering sketchbook. There’s a lot swirling around in my emotions, my mind and my subconscious.

World Environment Day 2022

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If we all do what we can, no matter how little we think it is, then collectively we can make a huge difference.

I just couldn’t fit all the ways we can do things to reduce our impact on the world’s habitats.

Hand lettering along with whimsical plants. This was definitely a labour of love and took me well over 20 hours to complete. But I got there!

The fifth and final part of Draw With Me… A Sketchbook Page Full Of Oyster Shells

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Click on this link to view today’s drawing tutorial on YouTube.

Finally, the page is as full as I’d like it to be of oyster shells! I did some hand-lettering before filming the video. I just wanted to add a quote about oyster shells and practice hand lettering.

I really enjoyed drawing all of these shells. The last one, a more whimsical one than the others, is my least favourite. It did, however, give me the chance to do something a little different when adding textures.

I really didn’t think out the layout of the hand-lettering. Maybe I’ll work that out, eventually. Maybe!

Overall, I now have a great reference page in my sketchbook as far as oyster shells are concerned.

I may do some further work on this page. Part of me wants to add words/quotes/facts as a background to at least one shell. I’ll see how I think about that after a little break from it.

In the process of drawing this page over the past five videos, I’ve gained some insights and understanding about my motivation to start a YouTube channel. I didn’t seem to have any clear purpose for making the videos, but with time and working on it all I think the pennies have finally dropped. That’s a good thing, maybe. All I have to do is to keep this purpose in mind (and remember it!). Fortunately, I’ve recorded my ah-ha moments in a journal, just in case I need to refer to them.

Now all I need to do is work out the next motif to focus on!

Draw With Me … Sand Dollars and Cockle or Scallop Shells

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Click on this link to view the tutorial that goes with this post on YouTube.

After drawing whimsical fish floating through the air, I thought it was time to draw some other water-based things. Sand dollars (or sea urchins) and cockle/scallop shells seemed like a good place to start. And I do my best to start simple and gradually get more complex!

Sand dollars begin with a circle and a five-pointed star. Then things get more complicated, one step at a time. The first step is to divide the space up. The next step is to add pattern/texture and/or colour and/or shadow. The steps are totally interchangeable and can be repeated.

This is sketchbook work. A chance to practice drawing skills. A time to exercise creativity. And a time to relax and enjoy what you’re doing with no expectation of perfection. The only expectation is to do, experiment, explore, learn and, most importantly, experience the simple joy of a creative process.

Joy, contentment, inner peace. These are such important things to experience, even if for a short while each day. That’s why I draw so much just for pleasure. And that’s why I’m finding my feet in the realm of YouTube and realising that I can help others, you, to do the same, simply and one step at a time.

WIP Wednesday – This week’s coloring page

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I spent some lovely time this morning starting to draw this week’s coloring template. I decided to edit some oopsies and add some colour to the part I drew in today’s video.

It was fun to use a different kind of digital brush than I usually do to add colour. There’s a lot more texture that is a little like watercolour. I definitely need to spend more time with these brushes, and others, to understand them though.

Still, after a late breakfast, actually lunch as it’s now midday, I’ll finish drawing the template.

Mail Art

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Mail Art ©Angela Porter | Artwyrd.com

Yet again I woke with my mind swimming with an idea I wanted to try out. I’d had a problem when I was trying to add colour to drawings I’d done on distress ink backgrounds. Whether I used water and a brush or a Tombow Blender pen, the pigment from the Sakura Micron and Uniball Unipin pens bled, and I really wasn’t happy with that.

I spent some time yesterday trying different pens out, with no luck in finding any that didn’t smear/bleed. So, I put this to one side until I had a chance to think about it.

I slept on it and woke with an idea to try.

Why not use the Tombow blender to draw the basic shapes of my design in colour and then add black lines afterwards. Seed pods seem to be my default design when I’m experimenting, but I’m fine with that.

So that’s what I did. And this card is the result.

As I was starting to add the black lines to the design I thought I’d made a horrible mistake, had a bad idea. However, as I added more and more detail, I realised it would work out, and I think it did.

I added some gold to the seeds in the seed pod with a glitter gel pen. I also splattered some gold watercolour paint over the design.

The envelope is really simple; three seed pods, black line art with golden seeds.

Not a unique artistic approach, but it is something that has never worked for me before.

It’s not a dissimilar approach I take to my digital art, where I start with the basic shapes and then add shading and detail. I do use line art as a guide for my design, and that is an approach I can apply to traditional art in that I may need to pencil in the design, then colour, then add the line art.

Who would’ve thought it – working digitally is helping me develop my traditional art methods and skills.

Quote about therapy

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Artwork © Angela Porter | Artwyrd.com

Trigger Warning – the following words contain some references to my past mental and emotional ill health.

I’ve begun to realise that I am as recovered from CPTSD as I’m going to be for now. So, yesterday, I made the decision, after lots of thought, that it was time to leave a month or so until my next session. The longest I’ve been without therapy is three weeks. This time it will be five weeks. It’s a test for me to see if I am as resilient as I think I am. Still, there’s also that little bit of a safety net that if I have issues I know, I’ll have a therapy session to sort out what to do next.

I know that in the future, as life experiences trigger some CPTSD reaction in me, I may need some more EMDR sessions to help me resolve the issues. Leaving therapy, for now, is necessary, but not without the possibility of returning as I need to.

How did I know I’d reached that point? Well, I recovered well from my hiccough, emotionally and mentally, over Christmas and New Year. Surprising well, actually. Even my therapist said that!

Nothing new has come up that needs to be processed it seems. I’ve had the feeling I’ve been groping around for issues to work on in therapy for a long while. Maybe I was ready a while ago but wasn’t quite prepared to leave that safety net of that one person who has always been there to listen, question me and help me to understand and heal myself. I feel I am ready to cut loose now, but suddenly, but gradually.

The soft inner smile, feeling of contentment and ease is present most days. I also have a feeling of what I can only describe as hope and optimism.
These feelings are my touchstones, the way I want to feel most of my days of the remainder of my life.

It still saddens me that it’s taken me until I’m 56 years old to discover them, to heal enough of the traumas of the past to allow them to be fully present nearly every day. I lived my life believing the way I thought and felt was ‘normal’ and that everyone was like this.

It took an emotional and mental breakdown to get me to accept that I was in a severe amount of emotional and mental pain and to seek the help I needed to heal that pain. EMDR has been that help, that therapy has allowed me to heal those wounds.

Sometimes things happen, and my emotions can overshadow the contentment and smile. However, I can still feel those touchstones, reminders that the emotional storm will pass and the smile will shine out once again. This emotional weather has happened a few times since I first discovered my touchstones, but the weather has always passed. Sometimes with the help of therapy, but more often by itself, given self-soothing, self-care and self-reflection.

I am so grateful to have had such a skilled therapist. Still, it’s now time for me to find new ways to engage with like-minded people, not in huge groups, as that would really cause problems for my introverted nature.

I’ve been having EMDR therapy for nearly five and a half years. It seems a long time, yet it’s not that long, really. A lot of commitment and work has been needed, but I’m reaping the rewards of my efforts.

The quote epitomises the way I feel about therapy now. In my darkest days, when I started EMDR. Linda, my therapist, has been that one person who has consistently been there to accompany me on this journey of healing and recovery from CPTSD. She has helped me discover that part of me that wants to experience life my own way, that part which is content, gently smiling, resilient, optimistic, more accepting of myself, kinder to myself, and much more I can’t yet put into words.

I’m not perfect; no one is. However, I’m as emotionally and mentally well as I’m going to be without living life. Only the ups and downs of life will reveal triggers for the remaining CPTSD. Some may never be revealed and not be an issue. Others I may be able to deal with myself, some I may need help from EMDR to process them and heal that still wounded part of myself.

It’s actually quite exciting. All I need to do is to transform that feeling of excitement and optimism into action such as a couple of nights away by myself and finding groups to join where there are like-minded people to begin with.