I’ve had a busy day learning new things to do with video and so on. The concentration has taxed my brain just a bit, and I needed some time in an arty happy place.
My first task was to find a quote that appealed to me today. This one is quite apt I think, for many reasons. I’m not entirely sure my typography is right for the quote, but it will do for now.
I then knew I wanted to do a mandala as a background. I find this style of mandala very soothing to draw, and soothing was just what I needed today.
Once I’d finished the mandala, I added colour in greens and teal. Calming, soothing, balancing colours for today. Colours of calm contentment, which is just how I feel at the moment. Also hopeful colours. That green reminds me a lot like the first leaves showing themselves at the tail end of winter, spreading hope that the warmer, lighter days will soon be here.
Seven plane symmetry, using a flexible nib pen to carve through black to reveal the design in copper. Done digitally using Autodesk Sketchbook Pro, Microsoft Surface Pen and Surface Studio.
I really have been enjoying creating this kind of design lately and I make no apologies for showing so many that seem to be similar. I find creating these so soothing and calming.
Here, I wanted to see how a metallic background texture would work, and it does really well, just not on WordPress and how the website shows images. The colours never seem to be as vibrant as they do elsewhere.
What I love about this process is that I have no idea of what the end product will be. It’s all about being in the flow, working intuitively, and trusting my skills and creativity.
Often, I’m so zoomed in to the section I’m drawing I’m not aware of how the overall design is looking and working. That means I really do have to trust my instincts, and trust that it will all fit together to create a satisfying end result, and I am happy with it.
I had some arty fun creating a similar, but different background for a quote. This time I went for a blue-grey background with the patterned border in fiery shades of red, orange and yellow.
Rather than hand letter the quote, I chose to use fonts.
I’m not sure I’e developed this particular style of creating abstract patterns much, but I do like the results.
I woke up this morning with an idea for a background for quotes, and this is the result!
I thought the kind of abstract, organic, swirling patterns I’ve been drawing would work well as a border, and I’m happy with what I’ve created. However, I do think there’s just too much purple, perhaps.
In hindsight, I wish I’d taken a bit more care with the laying out of the quote. I would like to emphasise the key words and phrases. Maybe, if I have time later I’ll do just that.
Sometimes, maybe often, I don’t really see the flaws in my work until I’m writing my blog. A lesson to be learned here I think. Today, however, I am under a lot of time pressure and I feel I may have spent too much time on this already.
However, despite the flaws I can see in my work, particularly the typography/hand-lettering, this is good enough for now.
A bit of a calming time was needed this morning before attending to my business of the day. I thought a mandala in blues, greens and purples would hit the mark.
I enjoy using a flexible ink pen ‘brush’ to achieve the varying line widths. This allows me to build up abstract patterns and textures quite nicely I think. I have a way to go to find my ‘voice’ with this style of art. The more I do, the more will become clear to me I’m sure.
I’m not sure that the design flows as much as in yesterday’s mandala. I wonder if that’s because I only put one rather geometric series of rings in the centre of the design.
So, Angela, how are you feeling today?
I had a tough EMDR session yesterday. Today, I feel content and upbeat but I’m realising just how tired I am mentally, despite 10 hours sleep. Yesterday’s session had a lot of body processing going on. That means stored trauma is processed via physical sensations. Yesterday those included electric shocks in my leg/foot, side, arm, pains like hooks in my shoulders, a blunt pushing/stabbing force from my stomach up towards my heart, pain in my eye. Those are just a few I remember. The pain/sensations weren’t more than I could bear, though some came close to it!
30 or 40 minutes of this is enough in a session I find, and that little amount of time out of my day is worth it for the long term benefits it brings of helping me recover from CPTSD. The tiredness I feel will pass in a day or so.
I actually drew this one last night. My emotions were overwrought and I needed something that was calming and relaxing.
I used a digital equivalent to scratchboard art. I used my digital brushes to remove areas from the upper black layer to reveal the lower, coloured layer.
To create the more geometric areas I used the digital equivalent of fineliner pens. For the more organic lines, I used a flexible nib digital brush.
There is a kind of magic in revealing the colour hidden by the black darkness. I found myself working in a quite different way to recent mandalas; it’s going to be a technique I return to again and again I’m sure.
Digitally created using Autodesk Sketchbook Pro, Microsoft Surface Pen and Microsoft Surface Studio.
Monday musings
Monday is still EMDR therapy day for me. My emotional and mental health is generally the best it’s ever been. However, I’ve discovered that I’m still a bit too close to the edge of the abyss within which I was trapped for most of my life. I wore a well practiced mask so that few people really knew the inner struggles I had on a daily basis.
It was such a good mask that I mostly fooled myself, until I could no longer do so around ten or twelve years ago.
I thought everybody thought and felt the same way I did; I never knew any different. Now, however, I know what contentment is and what feeling happy is too.
Last week’s EMDR session floored me for around three days. I didn’t expect it to do so. Memories surfaced that I’d pushed away and they distressed me greatly. The emotional exhaustion was intense; all I wanted to do was sleep. That wasn’t possible – as well as having the Spectacular Sea Life colouring book to finish I’m involved in an intense project which requires a lot of focus and concentration of a different kind. It’s also provoking emotional responses in me that are causing me some difficulties. One of those emotional responses resulted in me running away from the internet to watch Star Wars and then to create this mandala.
I have learned how to self-soothe!
The realm of emotions is really tricky for me. For most of my life I numbed my emotions. It was a strategy that helped me to survive as a child and the unhealthy strategy continued into my adult life.
Through EMDR, I’ve discovered that I have emotions, some I never knew existed in me and I had no names for them. Which is odd, as I could always recognise those emotions in others!
Anyway, by becoming more self-aware of my body and emotions and dropping the protective mask I’m having to learn to put boundaries and barriers in place to protect myself. Learning to say no, or the clear equivalent of that little word, is not an easy task. However, I am learning.
Healing from CPTSD is a tricky process, but it really is possible! It takes time though. Well, in my case it has.
Another day and another arty start to it! That means a quick mandala, just to get the creative juices flowing, my hand-eye coordination warmed up, and my mind and emotions gently soothed too.
There’s definitely a colour theme going on – red and white. However, this background is darker than the previous two days. It does make for a more dramatic mandala.
Now that’s done, I need to turn my attention to the Sea-Life colouring book. Yesterday, I got three templates done! I’m aiming to get the same number done today!
Today’s mandala is another white on red one. Drawn digitally using Autodesk Sketchbook Pro.
I really am enjoying white on darker coloured backgrounds, particularly red at this time for some reason. The white gives a lacy, delicate feel to the design. It also gives the illusion of the white pushing the darkness away in the background, making the red appear to start to glow. I like that metaphor, very much.
I’m aching today. Yesterday I tumbled down the stairs, clonking my elbow, butt and bending my left foot under itself. My foot is very painful and stiff today. I can stand and limp around on it so it’s not broken, just soft tissue damage. That’s the second time in a couple of weeks that I’ve fallen over and hurt my foot; last time, it was my right foot that was hurt. My hands and fingers are also sore from reaching out to try to stop my fall. That hasn’t stopped me doing some art, though. I don’t think I’ll be going out and about today either. I’ll be trying to keep my foot up! Bit of a shame, really, as it’s a lovely, sunny day outside.
I’ve always been such a clumsy person; I can trip over thin air. However, it’s been many, many years since I fell down the stairs. The last time must’ve been nearly 20 years ago. That time I pulled some ligaments behind my knee. That made it difficult for me to climb to the Cerrig Duon stone circle and standing stone on the edge of the Afon Tawe. I also had to cross the river by stepping over the natural, uneven stones in the river channel.
Art is the Adventure 