hope

Entangled Art – 1 May 2020

Angela Porter2 Comments

This morning, I finished this Entangled Art drawing.

The background was created using Distress Oxide inks and sprays of water on mixed media paper then scanned in.

The drawing was done digitally using Autodesk Sketchbook Pro.

A very intricate, detailed drawing in my signature ‘Entangled’ art style, that includes inspiration from nature, architecture, geometrical and repeating patterns, and overlaps a little with zentangle.

A new month!

While we may all be in lock-down, the days still pass us by and go into the past.

I sit here, at my desk and looking out of my window as I work. Sunshine, blue sky with some heavy grey clouds cover the world. Fluffy dandelion seeds are dancing around in the air, thanks to a fairly swift breeze. The trees that cover the valley sides are all cloaked in their spring green finery. It’s a fitting view for Beltane, May Day.

The world is now fully awakened from it’s winter sleep. The long, dark days of winter are now behind me and the days have been rapidly lengthening towards the longest days around the summer solstice in June.

In years past I’d be looking forward to days out, enjoying evening activities and meetings in daylight. I was looking forward this year to going out with my DSLR to take photos of flowers and plants, architecture, and anything else that grabbed my attention. That’s not to be. However, I will be looking forward to doing this in the future.

As much as I would like to be wandering around with my camera, I know it’s more important to be at home, to avoid contact with others, and to help slow down, if not halt, the spread of the Covid-19 virus.

The most difficult thing is not knowing when the current restrictions will safely be lifted. And when they are, the number of cases is likely to increase once again and we’ll return to lock-down.

I am so grateful that I am able to work at home, am happy to stay at home, for as long as it takes. The longer this goes on, the easier I find it to remain at home. I do worry that when the lock-down is released I may find I’m filled with fear and anxiety about leaving my home. I struggle with that anyway, but I do wonder what effect this will have on me.

Still, I can still think of things I’d like to do, places I’d like to visit, once it is safe to do so once again, even though that particular point in time is, as of yet, not in the calendar.

Never give up on hope

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Artwork ©Angela Porter | Artwyrd.com

I woke earlier with the need for some self-caring, self-soothing art and a mandala is the only thing that does that at times.

I created a background using various shades of pink and red Distress Inks (Worn Lipstick, Abandoned Coral and Candied Apple). I scanned it in and then drew the mandala digitally.

I needed pink as a soothing colour, so I chose a monochrome (more or less) colour scheme for the mandala.

I knew I wanted a Star Wars quote, and I chose this one from The Clone Wars. I feel a Star Wars marathon coming on later today; something else that I find soothing.

First, though, I want to get some work done on colouring another illustration for the Spectacular Sea-life coloring book. This is yet more self-soothing.

Remembrance Sunday 2018

Angela Porter2 Comments

Angela Porter Remembrance Mandala 2018

Today marks the 100th Anniversary of Armistice – the ending of the First World War. This took place at the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918. The guns fell silent. World War I ended.

But war has not ended.

The Second World War, among many others, followed. Burma. Korea. Vietnam. Falklands. Iraq, first and second. Afghanistan. And so many, many, many other conflicts around the world that barely get a mention in the western news.

Today, we remember all those lost in conflicts/wars around the world, those who have given their lives in the service of others. Those who have selflessly given the most precious thing we have – life – so that others may live in peace and safety.

Not only do we remember the men and women from all walks of life, social backgrounds, countries and beliefs who lost their lives and were injured during conflict/war, we remember the animals who were also killed and injured during conflict as they served and supported the troops.

My grandmother’s first husband, Frank, was gassed in the trenches in WWI and eventually died back in England, nursed by his own wife. It’s said that her hair went pure white overnight when she received the news.

My father took part in WWII. He was at the D-day landings. Amongst other things he witnessed, he saw the piles and piles of bodies at a concentration camp in Poland.

People like Frank and my dad, Robert John Porter, went to war to bring an end to such atrocities, to bring peace to our societies.


IN FLANDERS FIELDS

In Flanders’ fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders’ fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe;
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high,
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow  
In Flanders’ Fields.

Lt Col John McCrae, a Canadian Doctor who lost a friend at Ypres, was inspired by a field of poppies to write this poem in early May 1915

From www.royalbritishlegion.org.uk

Thoughts about my mandala

I knew I wanted to create a mandala that looked like a round stained glass window, but could also be used as a focus for meditation about peace, about remembrance, about the ultimate sacrifice of life in order to bring about a more peaceful world.

I wanted to create something that featured red poppies.

The poppy is not a symbol of war. It is not about glorifying war. It is not a symbol of support for war. It is not a reflection of politics or religion.

The poppy is a symbol of remembrance. It is a symbol of hope. It is a symbol of respect for all those, regardless of nationality, religion, race, who selflessly gave of themselves to return peace. You can find out more about remembrance poppies by following this link.

Eleven poppies to go with the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month.

I wanted a bright centre to the mandala as the symbol of hope for a better future. A more peaceful future. A brighter future.

I included some hearts as I thought of the words from Martin Luther King Jr:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.

I chose blue as a colour that represents to myself peace and calm. Green as a symbol of growth, balance, harmony, understanding.

As is so often the case with my artwork lately this was created using Autodesk Sketchbook Pro, a Microsoft Surface Pen and a Microsoft Surface Studio.

Closing thoughts

I thank Frank and my dad for their sacrifice.

I thank all the others who through the ages have fought with peace and a free world as their goal.

I wish there was no need for armies and wars. I wish we could all learn to get along. I wish there would be an end to hatred and racism and bigotry. I wish we could get over the fear of the ‘different’ or the ‘other’. I wish we could all work together to find common ground and build upon that.

Idealist? Dreamer? Yes, I’m guilty of that for sure. However, if enough of us believe in this come together we could make a difference.

There Will Be Peace

There will be peace:
when attitudes change;
when self-interest is seen as part of common interest;
when old wrongs, old scores, old mistakes
are deleted from the account;
when the aim becomes co-operation and mutual benefit
rather than revenge or seizing maximum personal or group gain;
when justice and equality before the law
become the basis of government;
when basic freedoms exist;
when leaders – political, religious, educational – and the police and media
wholeheartedly embrace the concepts of justice, equality, freedom, tolerance, and reconciliation as a basis for renewal;
when parents teach their children new ways to think about people.
There will be peace:
when enemies become fellow human beings.

David Roberts 1999.

From Warpoetry.co.uk

 

Hope – flowerpunked. Art and my mental health.

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IMG_0605

Just finished this one.

Hope.

Sometimes I have to walk away from something I’m working on as I despair it will work out to be anything near good enough.  Actually, it’s not sometimes, it’s most of the time!  However, I do persevere.

When I went to bed last night, this one was looking horrible.  I had the background done, the first layers of collaged patterned paper and the kind of hessian looking die-cut added too  I really wasn’t happy with it at all.

However, a good night’s sleep and a bit of inspiration on waking meant I knew where I wanted to go next, especially after I sorted out the jumble of die-cuts I have (note to self-get some way to organise these!).

Once started from the point of inspiration, the picture just grew to it’s finished state (well, I think it’s finished, that may change when I look at it again later on).

Hope.  A really good word here.  There’s always hope that no matter how bad I think something looks, , pushing past that often results in something good.  Indeed, sometimes the work can just be cut into pieces for use in another piece, which is how the iridescent, textured circles came to appear in this one.

Hope.  Making art always gives me hope that I can overcome the trials I face when my anxiety/depression/complex post-traumatic stress disorder kitcks itself up a few or several notches.  Art always gives me a place where I can lose myself in something that is meditative, mindful, self-soothing, and shows me that I can succeed even when the self-critic is telling me I’m useless, I can never get anything right, nothing is good enough, I’m a failure, and so on.

This past week or so, challenging myself to work with mixed media – something I’ve tried in the past and not really felt I was successful at – has been good to help me with the aftermath of a couple of rather strong anxiety attacks.  I’ve not had any for around a year now.

I was surprised by them and at their intensity and how they have impacted on how I live my life at the moment.  I find it difficult to go out into the world, want to hide away from people, and when I do go out it’s often in the dark hours so I’m not seen.

It also surprised me that this is how I used to live every single day for a very long time, most probably most of my life, until a few months ago.

Even though these two episodes have happened, I know I’ll get past them; I have in the past, and I can learn more about the triggers for them and also where this all comes from, which will help greatly in the counsellinge process.

So there’s hope I’ll improve in the long term, and blips are just that.  Just as I’ve hoped that my confidence and skill and expression via mixed media would improve.  I’ve just had a look back at the mixed media I’ve done in the last fortnight or three weeks, and even I can see how it’s all developed, in a positive way.

What’s made the difference for me with mixed media is finding the confidence to do my best to do it my way and to explore it in my way.  I have a lot more exploring to do, and a lot more confidence building in what I do with it. I will journey along this road, along with my drawing and illustration skills, maybe even writing, and with healing what I can of my mebtal health issues.

So, choosing the word hope for it to appear on this piece of art was most appropriate.

The sad tale of a boy and his beloved budgie.

Angela Porter2 Comments

This morning I was going over to the morning staff briefing at school when I was stopped by one of my year 7 special needs pupils.

“You’re my science teacher,” said he.

“Yes, I am,” said I.

“My budgie died last night,” said he.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I really am,” said I.

“You’re a scientist, can you make it live again?” he asked.

Oh my gosh, thought I, and then answered…

“I’m sorry, but no, that’s just not possible. Once something has died then it is dead and science can’t bring it back,” said I as gently and kindly as I could.

“But if I brought it in could you do that thing?” he asked while making gestures with his fingers suggesting heart massage.

“I’m sorry, but that would be way too late. That has to be done straight away. I’m so sorry he’s dead and died last night, but there is nothing I can do,” said I.

“Are you sure? You’re a scientist,” asked he.

“I’m sure, and I’m so sorry. If I could bring your budgie back to life I would. I can see how much you love it and I’m sure he loved you so much and appreciated your love. Wherever he is now he’s proud of you, I’m sure,” said I.

“I think I’ll give him a funeral tonight,” said he.

“I think that would be lovely. You can tell him how much you loved him and he’d like that. I’m just so sorry you’re so sad and there’s nothing I can do.”

“That’s ok. Thank you.” said he.

I had tears in my eyes and my heart was broken for this young chap, most probably his first bereavement.

I don’t know where his belief that I could undo nature for him has come from, and I hope I haven’t let him down too badly for his trust in me to disappear.  I don’t know what I have done to gain such wonder and respect.  I wonder if his view of me is of a kind of Dr Frankenstein, able to reanimate the dead, or as someone who can resurrect the dead.

I really wish I could have done something for him and his budgie, to ease the pain of a young, loving heart.

Now I’m home from school, I have let those tears fall.  Tears of sadness for his sadness, the loss of something he loved very much, the memories of those I’ve lost that I’ve loved, pets and humans.  Tears of sadness that I’m unable to share my beliefs about it all with him too.  Tears of sadness that I have no one to turn to for physical comfort in the form of cuddles.

I’m feeling a little sorry for myself.  I’m single.  I have been for a very long time now.  On nights like this I really wish there was someone I could turn to for a cuddle, some reassurance for myself, someone to do a little TLC for me.  As it is, I’ll have to make do with cuddles from the cat when he’s finally feeling in a cuddlesome mood.

That’s the story of the day…nothing else can compare to it, and it puts other things a tad into perspective doesn’t it?