This morning I was going over to the morning staff briefing at school when I was stopped by one of my year 7 special needs pupils.
“You’re my science teacher,” said he.
“Yes, I am,” said I.
“My budgie died last night,” said he.
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I really am,” said I.
“You’re a scientist, can you make it live again?” he asked.
Oh my gosh, thought I, and then answered…
“I’m sorry, but no, that’s just not possible. Once something has died then it is dead and science can’t bring it back,” said I as gently and kindly as I could.
“But if I brought it in could you do that thing?” he asked while making gestures with his fingers suggesting heart massage.
“I’m sorry, but that would be way too late. That has to be done straight away. I’m so sorry he’s dead and died last night, but there is nothing I can do,” said I.
“Are you sure? You’re a scientist,” asked he.
“I’m sure, and I’m so sorry. If I could bring your budgie back to life I would. I can see how much you love it and I’m sure he loved you so much and appreciated your love. Wherever he is now he’s proud of you, I’m sure,” said I.
“I think I’ll give him a funeral tonight,” said he.
“I think that would be lovely. You can tell him how much you loved him and he’d like that. I’m just so sorry you’re so sad and there’s nothing I can do.”
“That’s ok. Thank you.” said he.
I had tears in my eyes and my heart was broken for this young chap, most probably his first bereavement.
I don’t know where his belief that I could undo nature for him has come from, and I hope I haven’t let him down too badly for his trust in me to disappear. I don’t know what I have done to gain such wonder and respect. I wonder if his view of me is of a kind of Dr Frankenstein, able to reanimate the dead, or as someone who can resurrect the dead.
I really wish I could have done something for him and his budgie, to ease the pain of a young, loving heart.
Now I’m home from school, I have let those tears fall. Tears of sadness for his sadness, the loss of something he loved very much, the memories of those I’ve lost that I’ve loved, pets and humans. Tears of sadness that I’m unable to share my beliefs about it all with him too. Tears of sadness that I have no one to turn to for physical comfort in the form of cuddles.
I’m feeling a little sorry for myself. I’m single. I have been for a very long time now. On nights like this I really wish there was someone I could turn to for a cuddle, some reassurance for myself, someone to do a little TLC for me. As it is, I’ll have to make do with cuddles from the cat when he’s finally feeling in a cuddlesome mood.
That’s the story of the day…nothing else can compare to it, and it puts other things a tad into perspective doesn’t it?