Today was not the day to focus on commissions it seems. I managed to lose myself in crochet for much of the day.
Here are some of the results of my crochet experiments. There are three seed pods/vessels and one leaf.
I have plans for them … I think I may turn them, along with many others, into some kind of wall hanging. I need to find myself a branch or some kind of thing.
This is an interesting journey. The seedpods have used things I’ve learned from hyperbolic crochet along with popcorn stitches.
The vessel on the top left actually reminds me of prehistoric pots – something I’ll have to revisit in the future as I do love prehistoric pottery and if I can re-create their shapes in crochet…well it’ll be fun! The base of this vessel is quite rounded.
I have a lot to explore, experiment with and gain some confidence with as far as hyperbolic and freeform crochet goes. However, it’s reignited my interest in it. How long that will last, I don’t know. Quickly becoming bored with things is a symptom of childhood trauma/cPTSD. However, this kind of crochet has a lot of potential for creativity and growth, just as long as I can overcome all my self-doubts and self-hypercritical nature.
This could be the last piece of mail art from me for a few days. I need to get focused on art that is ‘work’ rather than just ‘for fun’. I enjoy my art, no matter what it is, but I can be easily distracted by the metaphorical shiny, bright new toy.
Mind you, once I’ve spent time doing art ‘for fun’, the commissioned work then feels like fun. A change is as good as a rest for sure. Different styles and methods of working keep everything fresh for me.
Here’s a brief outline of how I created the card:
Distress Ink background on watercolour paper. Use torn paper to use as a mask for the landscape. Use a circular mask for the sun.
Spray with a mixture of Perfect Pearls and water.
Use Faber-Castell Pitt Artist Pens to draw the design.
Add metallic highlights using a fine brush and Cosmic Shimmer Iridescent Shimmering Watercolour paints.
Add a distress ink ‘frame’ to the image.
Mount the design on black card. Attach the black card to the 6″ x 6″ card blank.
Use a gold glitter Uniball Signo gel pen to outline the top panel and black panel.
And here’s a brief outline of how I created the envelope:
Use a white Sakura Glaze pen to draw the flower motifs.
Use a fine paintbrush to add Cosmic Shimmer Iridescent Shimmering Watercolour paints.
For the envelope, I used a rainbow of colours for the flowers.
I like using Sakura Glaze pens to draw motifs when I’m adding watercolour; the ink dries to give a raised line that is waterproof. The thicker line width can also give stained glass feel to the artwork; this is particularly true for the black Glaze pens.
I had a lovely time this morning making the card on the left. Before I started drawing, I added a moon or planet to the background. It really adds something to the card, I think. Something like this is needed on the card to the right I think. However, as I’ve assembled the card it’s not going to be easy to alter!
How I made the cards.
I used Distress Inks and a mini-foam blending tool to colour the backgrounds. I used a circle of paper as a mask for the moon/planet in the left-hand card. To create the land, I used a torn piece of paper to mask off part of the card.
Once I was pleased with the backgrounds, I sprayed the image with a mixture of Perfect Pearls and water and let it dry.
The next step was to draw the designs. I used black and grey Pitt Artist Pens by Faber Castell.
Metallic/iridescent highlights were added; I used Cosmic Shimmer watercolour paints and a fine brush.
The final steps were to adhere the top layer to a black mat, and then this to the card base. Finally, I edged the mat and the top layer with a gold glitter Uniball Signo gel pen.
I have made coordinating envelopes for each card.
My thoughts on the cards.
I think you can tell that the card on the left is the second made. I can see how I’ve learned from the first card. I do like them both.
I would, if I could, add a moon/planet to the right hand card. It would fill that space rather nicely and give a more magical, mystical, ethereal feel to the landscape.
As to the left hand card, I wish I hadn’t done the pods all in black; they appear a tad ‘flat’. In hindsight, I could have used just black outlines and then filled the pod with a colour gradient before adding the metallic highlights.
I also am glad I didn’t try to add a spine to each leaf as I did on the right hand card. However, a highlight at the top of each leaf, suggesting the moon/planet light is reflecting from them.
Oh the whole, however, I am pleased with these cards. They are a new style of working for me. leaving open space is never easy for me, but I’ve managed it with these cards.
Would you like some happy mail?
I’ve already got some recipients in mind for these cards. However, if you’d like some happy mail then send me a message.
I had a lovely time this morning making the card on the left. Before I started drawing, I added a moon or planet to the background. It really adds something to the card, I think. Something like this is needed on the card to the right, I guess. However, as I’ve assembled the card, it’s not going to be easy to alter!
How I made the cards.
I used Distress Inks and a mini-foam blending tool to colour the backgrounds. I used a circle of paper as a mask for the moon/planet in the left-hand card. To create the land, I used a torn piece of paper to mask off part of the card.
Once I was pleased with the backgrounds, I sprayed the image with a mixture of Perfect Pearls and water and let it dry.
The next step was to draw the designs. I used black and grey Pitt Artist Pens by Faber Castell.
Metallic/iridescent highlights were added; I used Cosmic Shimmer watercolour paints and a fine brush.
The final steps were to adhere the top layer to a black mat and then this to the card base. Finally, I edged the mat and the top layer with a gold glitter Uniball Signo gel pen.
I have made coordinating envelopes for each card.
My thoughts on the cards.
I think you can tell that the card on the left is the second made. I can see how I’ve learned from the first card. I do like both cards, though.
I would, if I could, add a moon/planet to the right-hand card. It would fill that space rather nicely and give a more magical, mystical, ethereal feel to the landscape.
As to the left-hand card, I wish I hadn’t done the pods all in black; they appear a tad ‘flat’. In hindsight, I could have used just black outlines and then filled the pod with a colour gradient before adding the metallic highlights.
I also am glad I didn’t try to add a spine to each leaf as I did on the right-hand card. However, a highlight at the top of each leaf, suggesting the moon/planet light is reflecting from them.
Oh the whole, however, I am pleased with these cards. They are a new style of working for me. Leaving open space is never easy for me, but I’ve managed it with these cards.
Would you like some happy mail?
I’ve already got some recipients in mind for these cards. However, if you’d like some happy mail then send me a message.
I’ve already got some recipients in mind for these cards. However, if you’d like some happy mail then send me a message.
I’ve been having a lot of fun with hyperbolic crochet over the past couple of days. The photo shows just a couple of the hyperbolic surfaces I’ve created. they look like corals, flatworms, a kind of flowery ball, and some weird kind of seedpod (the one at the bottom right which I’m still working on)
To create them you only need to be able to crochet chain stitches as well as a double crochet (single crochet in the US), though you can use other stitches if you wish.
To create a hyperbolic surface, you start with any number of chains. You then work stitches into each chain, increasing at regular intervals. You can, if you wish, join the chains into a ring.
I’ve also discovered that you can get fascinating shapes if you decrease from time to time. The shapes end up like some of the weird seedpods and organic forms that I draw!
This form of crochet can be as structured or free-form as you like, or a mixture of the two.
I’ve not felt this excited about a crochet project since I made the virus shawl and then some flowers, stars, snowflakes and feathers.
The excitement is not knowing how the hyperbolic surface is going to work out.
My only problem is what to make with them, what use to put them to, or who to gift them to.
I do have to add that they are very tactile – they can easily be manipulated, and there is something pleasurable and soothing in how they do this, particularly the smaller, tighter forms.
So, Angela, how are you doing?
I’m doing just fine today. I feel optimistic, content, happy even. The sun is shining, I’ve been out for an appointment and a short walk into the town to look at some yarn and also a trip into Holland & Barretts for some organic seeds and nuts; I also scored a couple of vegetarian scotch eggs too. So, after that, I realised I really had to return home to pop them into the fridge. But not before visiting Shaws to look at yarn. I came away with three cones of four-ply yarn in cream, grey and a soft turquoise. No prizes for guessing what for!
Yesterday, I managed to get some sleep before I headed to Hereford for a meeting in the evening. I wasn’t feeling all that bright and cheery as I left home for the hour and a half or so drive there. My mood did improve as I was driving through pretty scenery through a beautiful sunset that bathed the world in soft pink.
It was a long-assed day though; I didn’t return home until nearly midnight. Fortunately, I slept well overnight, and I woke feeling alert, if still a bit tired around the edges.
I quickly found my balance after EMDR this week, which is good to notice. I’ve also found myself at times trying to see if there’s anything sad or worrisome lurking; it’s almost as if I want to take myself back to the darker days of my life. How weird. I wonder if it’s because part of me thinks I don’t deserve to be content like this. Or maybe I’m just wondering if it is real and lasting and I expect to be dragged back down into the pits of despair and misery.
However, that inner summer has been ignited now, and it won’t easily be put out again. Now I’ve found it, I won’t hide it away. It will always be a guiding light for me, even if I find myself in darker places emotionally or mentally. I’m realistic enough to know that things will happen that affect me one way or another – that’s just life. The difference now is that I have a point of reference to journey back to, a touchstone. I now know what it is like to feel contented, optimistic, and it’s a feeling I won’t forget…ever.
After a very late night talking to a friend and not enough sleep, today is a self-care day. I’m going to go back to bed soon and try to sleep some more before driving for four hours tonight.
While waiting for sleep to catch up with me again, I thought I’d make some mail art. The photo isn’t the best; I’ve said it before, I’m not a brilliant photographer. However, I’m sure you get the idea. Also, I wanted to catch a glimpse of the metallic highlights I’ve added to this card, so the angle of the photography was just plain weird!
My brain seemed to have ticked over some ideas while I was asleep and I woke with some things I thought I could try out. This card is the result of some of them.
I started by using a 4″ x 4″ piece of watercolour paper and applying Distress inks to it to create a background.
I used a torn piece of paper to mask off the bottom of the panel so that could use an ink blending tool to apply Pine Needles and Crushed Olive Distress inks to create some land.
A sky was required, so I used Broken China Distress ink to create it so that it faded from top to the land.
I then sprayed the background with a mixture of gold Perfect Pearls and water to create a less perfect appearance.
While this was drying, I flipped through my Zibladone (visual dictionary) and found some motifs I liked. I used Pitt Artist pens from Faber-Castell to draw the motifs on the panel. I chose these pens because they’re waterproof when dry and I knew I wanted to add colour and sparkle to them later on.
To give a sense of dimension, I used black pens for the foreground motifs and a grey brush pen to create the foliage in the background.
To help the seed pods stand out, I used washes of Dusty Concorde and Seedless Preserves Distress inks. Then, I used some Cosmic Shimmer gold iridescent watercolour paint to add the gold highlights.
Once everything was dry, I used a piece of Cut’n’Dry foam to edge the panel with Dusty Concorde Distress Ink. The design was framed nicely by this edging; it also added a sense of dimensionality.
Next, I mounted the panel on a piece of black card and then adhered these layers to a 6″ x 6″ blank Kraft card, all done with Tombow Mono glue.
Finally, I carefully used a gold glitter Uniball Signo gel pen to add lines around the edge of the design panel and also the black mat.
I then turned my attention to the envelope. I drew some more of the seed pods before adding a light wash of Dusty Concorde and Seedless Preserves Distress Inks, being careful not to overwet the envelope. I added dots of gold watercolour paint to the seed pods and the space around them too, making sure I left enough space to write the name and address of the eventual recipient.
I’m quite pleased with the card. I’ve done this style of drawing digitally in the form of a mandala, but never like this. However, as I look at the card, it seems to need a focal motif in the space between the seedpods. I may be wrong; it may just be my constant need to fill up space with line and pattern and the difficulty I have in leaving white space in a design.
I shall let the card ‘sit’ for a while before making my mind up on that issue.
Distress Inks in Bundled Sage, Weathered Wood and Stormy Sky.
Distress Oxide Inks in Iced Spruce and Peeled paint.
Small paint brushes – I used a 0 for the details and a 4 for the circles.
Mini foam blending tool.
A spray bottle containing a mixture of gold Perfect Pearls and water.
Tim Holtz’s Distress Micro Glaze and a dedicated foam blending pad. (or just your fingers!).
A glass pen or other fine nib dip pen.
Gold and Silver inks from J Herbin
White Sakura Glaze pen.
Gold glitter Uniball Signo Pen.
Light grey 05 Unipin pen by Uniball.
Glue or strong tape to adhere the card layers (I used Tombow Mono glue)
Method:
I started with a 2.5″ x 5″ piece of watercolour paper and a brush. I used water to draw circles where I wanted the dandelion heads to be. I then used the brush to add Stormy Skies and Weathered Wood Distress Inks into the water, letting it spread as it liked. To ensure I had a darker area of the seedhead, I dropped the watered-down inks to the bottom and left of the circles.
While the circles were drying, I worked on the card base. I applied Peeled Paint and Iced Spruce Distress Oxide Inks with a mini foam blending tool. Then, I sprayed the card with a mixture of gold Perfect Pearls and water and let it dry. Finally, I used Tim Holtz’s Micro Glaze to seal in the Distress Oxides – they react all too quickly with the sweat in fingers.
By the time I’d set the card base aside to dry I could return to the dandelion seed heads. I used a fine paintbrush, and some Titanium Iridescent Watercolour paint from Cosmic Shimmer to add the stems of the seeds. Once they had dried, I added dots of Enchanted Gold Iridescent Watercolour paint to the stems and set the panel aside to dry.
I wanted to add some dandelion heads and seeds to the card base. I used a glass pen along with silver and gold inks from J Herbin. I didn’t think these would adhere to the micro glaze treated surface, but they did. On a darker background, I could really see how these inks look like liquid metals as they flow onto the paper. They didn’t dull as they dried, thanks to the micro glaze acting as a barrier to the Distress Oxide ink.
Next, I wanted to add the stems and leaves to the dandelions on the watercolour paper panel. I used some Bundled Sage, Weathered Wood and Stormy Skies Distress inks for this. I pressed them onto a sheet of plastic, diluted and mixed them with water and a brush and then used the mixture to add the stems and leaves. I started with a lighter colour wash, adding darker colours to the left of the stem and also under the dandelion heads to add some dimension.
Once I was reasonably happy with the stems, I worked on the leaves. Again, I started with a pale-coloured wash to get the shape of the leaves in place. Then I gradually added darker tones to give a sense of dimension.
When I’d finished this, I looked at the panel, and I wasn’t happy with the stems and leaves. They looked unfinished. So, I dug out a light grey Uniball Unipin pen and proceded to outline the stems and leaves. This improved matters greatly to my mind. I like the way the stems and leaves are now defined and how they contrast nicely with the airy, ephemeral feel of the seedheads.
I then set about adding some dots of the gold watercolour around the arrangement of dandelion seedheads, added my symbol and year, and that completed the top panel.
I cut a piece of black card that was approx. 5.25″ x 2.75″ and adhered the top panel to it. I then adhered these layers to the card base.
My last task was to decorate the envelope. I used a white Sakura Glaze pen to draw some dandelion seedheads. When the Glaze pen lines had dried, I used a gold glitter Uniball Signo gel pen to add dots.
My reflections.
I started with a 2.5″ x 5″ piece of watercolour paper and a brush. I used water to draw circles where I wanted the dandelion heads to be. I then used the brush to add Stormy Skies and Weathered Wood Distress Inks into the water, letting it spread as it liked. To ensure I had a darker area of the seedhead, I dropped the watered-down inks to the bottom and left of the circles.
While the circles were drying, I worked on the card base. I applied Peeled Paint and Iced Spruce Distress Oxide Inks with a mini foam blending tool. Then, I sprayed the card with a mixture of gold Perfect Pearls and water and let it dry. Finally, I used Tim Holtz’s Micro Glaze to seal in the Distress Oxides – they react all too quickly with the sweat in fingers.
By the time I’d set the card base aside to dry I could return to the dandelion seed heads. I used a fine paintbrush, and some Titanium Iridescent Watercolour paint from Cosmic Shimmer to add the stems of the seeds. Once they had dried, I added dots of Enchanted Gold Iridescent Watercolour paint to the stems and set the panel aside to dry.
I wanted to add some dandelion heads and seeds to the card base. I used a glass pen along with silver and gold inks from J Herbin. I didn’t think these would adhere to the micro glaze treated surface, but they did. On a darker background, I could really see how these inks look like liquid metals as they flow onto the paper. They didn’t dull as they dried, thanks to the micro glaze acting as a barrier to the Distress Oxide ink.
Next, I wanted to add the stems and leaves to the dandelions on the watercolour paper panel. I used some Bundled Sage, Weathered Wood and Stormy Skies Distress inks for this. I pressed them onto a sheet of plastic, diluted and mixed them with water and a brush and then used the mixture to add the stems and leaves. I started with a lighter colour wash, adding darker colours to the left of the stem and also under the dandelion heads to add some dimension.
Once I was reasonably happy with the stems, I worked on the leaves. Again, I started with a pale-coloured wash to get the shape of the leaves in place. Then I gradually added darker tones to give a sense of dimension.
When I’d finished this, I looked at the panel, and I wasn’t happy with the stems and leaves. They looked unfinished. So, I dug out a light grey Uniball Unipin pen and proceded to outline the stems and leaves. This improved matters greatly to my mind. I like the way the stems and leaves are now defined and how they contrast nicely with the airy, ephemeral feel of the seedheads.
I then set about adding some dots of the gold watercolour around the arrangement of dandelion seedheads, added my symbol and year, and that completed the top panel.
I cut a piece of black card that was approx. 5.25″ x 2.75″ and adhered the top panel to it. I then adhered these layers to the card base.
My last task was to decorate the envelope. I used a white Sakura Glaze pen to draw some dandelion seedheads. When the Glaze pen lines had dried, I used a gold glitter Uniball Signo gel pen to add dots.
Reflections on this project.
When I started, I only had a rough idea of what I’d like to do. I knew I wanted to use watercolour media and stylised dandelion heads.
At first, I tried to make the circles for the seed heads by using a Tombow Dual Brush pen to draw the outer circle. Then, I used water and a brush to get the ink to bleed into the circle.
The result wasn’t pretty.
So, I regrouped and tried Distress Inks and water, and I was much happier with the result, and the card grew from there.
I’m pleased that I ran with a more stylised dandelion head than I’d initially considered. One of my artistic strengths is my ability to create stylised motifs. I certainly think I managed to do that with the dandelion heads and their leaves, especially as watercolour media is not a strength of mine.
I’m also glad I used the iridescent paints to add the details. That makes my inner raven very happy. The use of metallic inks on the card base increased the happiness of the raven even further!
I was about to give up on the card when I’d added the stems and leaves with just Distress Inks; I wasn’t happy with them. However, trying the grey line made all the difference in the world. The dandelions went from almost being consigned to the waste bin to being good enough.
I’m now happy with the card and the envelope; it’s something I’ll try again in the future, maybe. After all, I do have a few more watercolour paper panels that need to be used!
So, Angela, how are you today?
Yesterday, I had EMDR therapy. The session was quite painful, physically, and a bit distressing emotionally. I felt content and optimistic going to the appointment, and I left feeling pretty much the same. However, I suddenly became exhausted when I was half-way home. And I do mean exhausted. I felt my eyes trying to cross and close.
I made it safely home and, after having a little something to eat, I collapsed into bed and slept until early evening.
I was still really tired when I woke, but a random chancing upon crochet patterns for hyperbolic surfaces and ammonites kept me up for a while. Indeed, I lost myself in crocheting hyperbolic forms.
This morning I woke feeling content and optimistic and cheerful. The sun was shining, which always helps my mood for sure.
Even though I was feeling sunny inside, I wanted to spend time on a little project or two today. I didn’t want to push myself after what turned out to be a gruelling EMDR session yesterday. So, that’s why I threw myself into creating this little card.
Now, it’s nearly 7 pm here in the UK, and I’m bone-tired once again. I’ll spend the evening either creating another card or crocheting. Either way, it’s self-care time.
I stumbled upon this quote yesterday and I thought it so embodied how I feel about how I am becoming via EMDR therapy.
I laser-printed the quote and borders on heavyweight, acid-free, white printer paper. I then used a fountain pen, one of my Kaweco pens, to draw the entangled art.
After scanning in, I added a background and a texture, finally adding my watermarks.
So, Angela, how are you today?
I’m quietly calm and content with a fair dose of optimism. I’ll be heading out for my weekly EMDR appointment soon, so I have no idea of how my emotions will be later on today.
This quote by Albert Camus struck a chord with me. It gave me words for how I feel about my CPTSD healing journey via EMDR.
The state of my mental and emotional health, the lack of compassion I had for myself, and how tough on myself I was had me in a cold winter where love was lacking. Love for myself.
Now, I feel like there’s a small, warm sun somewhere inside me illuminating the cold and darkness of the inner winter.
I’ve never felt this before. There’s so much I could say about how I felt this when I thought there was ‘love’, how it depended on someone else’s approval, and so on.
This feeling isn’t dependent on anyone else; it’s a seed within me that’s started to grow, showing itself as a baby sun that will continue to grow and illuminate my inner self. Its light will help to chase the shadows of my past away by bringing them into the light of love to be examined, healed and released and in the process healing me.
If someone had told me this would happen to me even a few months ago, I might not have believed them. I would have hoped for it, but never thought I deserved it.
Now I know it is absolutely possible and inevitable as I continue to work on healing myself with the help of EMDR and my therapist.
Earlier last week, I spent a couple of hours colouring some pieces of Bristol Board and Mixed Media Paper with either Distress Inks or Distress Oxide Inks.
I brayered the Distress Oxide inks onto a small Gelli Plate and then sprayed them with a mixture of Perfect Pearls and water. Then, I used a piece of paper to take a print and let it dry. Once dry, I used a rectangular die and a Sizzix Big Shot machine to cut out rectangles from the print. The panels are 4.25″ x 2.5″ in size.
For the Distress Inks, I used mini foam blending tools to achieve a pleasing colour gradient. I then sprayed them with a mixture of Perfect Pearls and water. These panels, not shown here, are larger at 4″ x 5.5″.
Last night I got around to drawing on a couple of these panels. I chose some of the smaller, Distress Oxide background panels for this as well as some Faber Castell Pitt Artist Pens.
The first panel I drew is on the top left. I didn’t leave much blank space in this one! It’s much more my typical kind of entangled art. I did use a white coloured pencil to lighten some parts of the design to help them stand out a little more.
In the other two, I left a lot more blank space, and added a simple hand-drawn border, though in the top right panel I just had to add some embellishment to the right side.
I couldn’t resist using a gold glitter gel pen from Uniball to add some shiny highlights to the panels.
I’m quite pleased with each panel. I do like my entangled art at the top left. However, I’m surprised at how much I like the floral panels, particularly the top right one. The one on the bottom left needs something to be done to the petals. I don’t know if shading with coloured pencils will help to add some depth and dimension to them. I may come back to them in a day or two.
What am I going to do with these panels? Well, I most probably will mount them on card blanks and make some coordinating envelopes to send out as mail art at some point in time. There’s undoubtedly space on the floral panels to add a sentiment or a quote. For the more detailed panel, I could add a sentiment to the card blank, or use a ribbon banner.
The best-laid plans.
This seems to be a recurring theme in life at the moment for me. I plan what I’d like to do on a given day, and then life goes on a crazy roller-coaster ride.
Maybe I’m over-dramatising, but unexpected things came along that meant I had to put those plans aside, and that’s included my blog posts.
Today, I hope that life will take a diversion around my house during the day so that I can settle to work. I need a few hours of uninterrupted focus time to get most of a project completed before I venture out early evening to an event.
So, with that, I should get on to work asap.
So, Angela, how are you today?
I’m feeling fine and tickety-boo. I had a disturbing dream which is still haunting me a little. That will pass.
My unexpected break from ‘work’ has refreshed me somewhat. I have the oompf and focus I need to complete a project, and I’m looking forward to it.
In previous days, I had felt totally overwhelmed by the project. Today, I think I can manage it, and do it well.
So, despite it being Sunday and a gloriously sunny day outside, I will turn today into a working day. Not that any creative/artistic activities ever feel like work to me. However, this one needs some particular focus from me as I have to use Affinity Publisher to create materials to go to print.
It’s not that I haven’t done things like this before – I have. I’ve just not done them for a very long time, and I used Microsoft Publisher previously. These types of materials are new to me too. I’m doing the artwork and typography for the CD for a prog-metal band called Anubis Gate, who hail from Denmark.
This is an exciting commission for me, but also overwhelming as I so want to make sure I get things just right. And that is where the focus comes in! I usually find myself in a flow state when creating art. However, I have to focus so much when laying out images and text, setting up templates, checking my typing, and so on, that I have to pay close attention to what I’m doing.
So, I have to be kind to myself and recognise that if I’m not in the right place to do this kind of work I give myself a break from it. I end up making mistakes and getting more and more frustrated with myself. As I get frustrated with myself, the inner critics wake up and start telling me how useless I am. They take their opportunity to attack me.
Fortunately, the days when they do this are fewer and further between them. However, there are still days when they fill their lungs and scream at me and get to me.
Today is a day where I feel strong enough to forge ahead with this project, a day where I feel stronger than the inner critics.
So, I’d better finish all my social media stuff and knuckle down to the CD designs!
I enjoy using quote and adding artwork around them. So, I thought I’d ask, “What are your favourite quotes?”. Leave a comment with them – you never know I may illustrate them!
Reflecting on today’s artwork.
I have finished the illustration above; I just wanted to try some ideas out where I combine more realistic (ermm, probably stylised realistic) motifs along with some of my signature style entangled art. It’s been an interesting experiment and I quite like the results.
I have no idea how the flower at the bottom left ended up so huge in comparison to the others! Having said that, it’s most probably my favourite as I love the depth of colour in the petals.
I also like the line-art in grey. It’s subtle, adds a background to the flower without being overpowering like black line art can be.
I certainly have some things to think about here.
This is digital art, created using my usual trio of Microsoft Surface Studio, Microsoft Surface Pen and Autodesk Sketchbook Pro.
The best laid plans of mice and Angelas.
Today is one of those frustrating days where I had planned to settle down to work on a commission and then life happens.
First, I slept longer than I usually do in the morning and it also took longer for my eyes, brain and body to wake up properly and work.
I knew I needed a few hours to myself to focus and concentrate on searching out the artwork I need, organising it, setting up templates, and getting everything clear in my head.
Well, with the unplanned sleep-in, having to deal with various other stuff it’s just not going to happen today as I have something to do this evening.
This frustrates me as I had got myself sorted to get it done. However, I do know how I work best, and my next opportunity for an uninterrupted day is Saturday as I have things to do tomorrow.
Ho hum. It means I’ll work on a dangle design for tomorrow’s blog instead. Perhaps a couple so I have at least one ready for next week.
So, Angela, how are you today?
Despite sleeping in this morning, I am feeling tired. I’m also frustrated that my plans have been waylaid by circumstances beyond my control.
Once all the circumstances have been dealt with, I may just return to bed to sleep for a while. That may clear my head.
I’m doing my best not to be hard on myself, beating myself up by telling myself I’m lazy. That’s how it feels on one level, but that harks right back to childhood where I was told that’s what I was no matter what I did.
It’s a false belief that’s followed me through life. Even when I was a workaholic, I thought myself lazy for having to sleep or eat or do other things.
In hindsight, I can see I was going above and beyond what I needed to do. I can also see that the busy-ness was all about avoiding difficult emotions and thoughts. It was a coping mechanism, an unhealthy one.
I am better at self-care and understanding why it so important.
However, I still find I tell myself I’m lazy and useless when another self-care day is needed. Today that’s partly through circumstances that have developed that need dealing with. It’s also party through me feeling emotionally exhausted once again.
Hang on. I shouldn’t say, “once again”. It’s a continuation of the exhaustion I felt after therapy on Monday. I’ve had a busy time since then, with little chance to catch my proverbial breath. Yesterday, I had an appointment that I got very anxious about, anxious to the point of cold, sweaty palms and enlarged pupils and on the verge of hyper-vigilance.
That rise in anxiety drained me. However, there was little chance to calm and settle as I had other things to do soon after.
So, even though I have things going on today that I didn’t expect, I think it’s a good thing as it gives me some periods of time to do some self-care. I could’ve ended up pushing myself to work on the commission and get more and more frustrated with myself as I made mistake after mistake, lost my train of thought again and again, and lost confidence in myself and gave the inner critics a chance to get their loud-hailers out and scream at me that I’m useless, pathetic, a failure.
I’ve yet to learn it’s OK to err on the side of caution. I’ve learned that a day of self-care can make all the difference for the next day and how I feel about a project.
Taking time out means that when I turn to the project, I can feel excited, optimistic, creative, focused.
In contrast, today, I feel overwhelmed, dim-witted, lacking energy and would have to force myself to work when I know I’d mess up and have to do it all over again.
So, I’m trying to work out how to give myself permission to take some more self-care time yet again. It seems that’s all I’ve been doing lately. I’m putting myself under pressure to get projects done when I’m not in the right kind of place to work on them to a good enough standard.
Today, I’m a good lesson in how to tie yourself in knots when overwhelmed and emotionally fragile!
This morning, I finally finished the drawing that’s the background for one of my favourite quotes.
I printed the quote and it’s border and then I used Uniball Unipin pens to draw the design. After scanning in to Autodesk Sketchbook Pro, I cleaned the artwork up. I then used the software to colour the line art and typography.
This was definitely a piece of ‘comfort art’ – it’s a style I slip back into when I need to focus on self-care. That doesn’t mean I consider this art less than my other art. It’s pretty, intricate and I actually love the way the colour softens the lines. Soft colours, soft lines, soft and loving quote, yet a powerful quote. It’s kindness and compassion towards all others and all living things that will change the world for the better.
So, Angela, how are you?
I’m OK, but still rather tired. Not physically but emotionally. Between therapy and then a rather emotionally difficult blog entry yesterday it’s wiped me out a bit.
I woke to a grey, wet day. However, there’s now some sunshine brightening the world and making the rain shine. It’s also brightening my mood a little, not that it was dark, just a little matte or flat.
I do need to turn my attention to some commissions and projects, however my emotions aren’t feeling all that stable today. I know I have an appointment in a couple of hours so perhaps rather than trying to make a start on the project work I’ll spend some time self-soothing and then focus on the projects when I return home.
Art is the Adventure 