It’s been a good couple of months since I last added an entry to my blog. It’s not that I haven’t tried to; it’s just that I’ve not been able to. Let me explain.
Since I had Covid back in October 2024, I’ve been experiencing chronic fatigue, a scattered and unfocused mind, and an inability to stay focused on a task for much time at all. Even as I type this, I’m losing my train of thought and have to pause often to try to work out what I was about to type or to find the words that just won’t come to the forefront of my mind.
I can spend 10 to 12 or more hours a day sleeping and still not feel refreshed. Taking part in everyday events or tasks is overwhelmingly tiring; not so much physically but mentally and emotionally.
Everything physiological has been ruled out. Covid coincided with me being prescribed a new medication. I’ve stopped that medication, with the blessing of my doctor, so to speak, to see if that was the cause of this fatigue. It’s not and I’m awaiting a review with the doctor soon. I think they mentioned a review to a post viral syndrome clinic or long covid clinic.
I can get really frustrated. Even my art isn’t as prolific as before. Though I get lost in it quite easily, I can’t do much more than 30 mins to 45 mins in a stint, if I’m lucky. Even now, I’ve spent less than an hour scanning in a couple of drawings, creating the images for social media, and getting this far in my blog and I could just fall asleep again. Not even perimenopause/menopause has been this bad…
So, this is the state of my health currently, fine and good apart from this pesky fatigue.
Arty stuff
I have been drawing, but not as much as I usually would have been doing. The two images above are just two that I have completed in the last couple of months or so.
The one on the right resulted in some enquires about buying it. However something weird was going on with the contacts and nothing ever came of it. But, when I’m up to focusing on what I need to do, I will be posting some artwork either on Ko-Fi or Etsy for sale. I wish I could say when, but …
So, I’m still creating, as the fatigue allows.
And so…
…it’s time for me to end this post and go and rest again – I feel so tired and sleepy and unfocussed once again.
All I can say is thank you for bearing with me. I’ll share when I’m able to, but I don’t think there’ll be any YouTube videos for a while as they are just too much for me to accomplish at this time. Hopefully, recovery is occuring, albeit slowly. Only time will tell, that’s for sure.
It’s been a heck of a year, this 2024. Between anaemia, fatigue and brain fog exacerbated by COVID followed by tonsillitis in the last couple of months and other things going on, it’s been tough to focus long enough to post anything much to social media.
I haven’t done as many colour templates as I usually would in a year for the Angela Porter’s Colouring Book Fans facebook group.However, I’ve managed to get three done in the past couple of weeks and I’ve just uploaded them to the group. You can see the templates at the top of this post.
I’ll also be making them available for free on my Ko-Fi store. In both instances, terms and conditions for use do apply.
It’s soothing for me to draw and create, but so hard to put words onto a page, or into a YouTube video. I have, however, done a few Draw With Me live streams, which are easier for me to do than record, edit, upload and so on – less brain power needed.
I’ve also learned a lot about my art in the past year. Understanding what is an expression of myself, including in some ‘styles’, and accepting this has been a significant step forward for me. There’s more, but I’ll blog about it another time. The fog is closing in, and I have more to do today…
I know I’ll get better. I’m taking B12 and iron if it’s anaemia. If the fatigue is due to long COVID and/or perimenopause, things will also improve in time. I just have to learn to pace myself and not overdo things on a day when I have lots of energy (or when I’m masking my tiredness to interact with others). This is most definitely a work in progress.
Also, I’ve realised that I must draw designs/sketches before inking in digitally. My mind just can’t adapt to drawing entirely digitally. On paper, I quickly have an overview of the whole design and how it will appear to others’ eyes, too. I don’t get that sense digitally. So, I think that tradigital is a way for me to work – traditional pen drawing with digital colouring.
There is one exception to this, however. That is the drawing of geometric designs such as tiles and mandalas. I seem to be able to do them so much more easily digitally as I can concentrate on the lines and shapes I’m drawing rather than focusing on the maths and measurements.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been getting used to my XPPen Magic Drawing Pad for drawing mandalas and adding colour. I’ve found that I like Sketchbook and ClipStudio Paint for designing and adding colour.
I really had hoped that the Magic Drawing Pad (an Android tablet that has a paper-like screen and the ability to draw smoothly accurately and with large artwork) would make it possible for me to use it instead of a paper sketchbook. I’ve tried so hard, but my brain just won’t adjust. C’est la vie!
I’m free of the dread lurgy as far as the virus is concerned, but I’m not free of its lingering effects—weak voice, cough, easily fatigued and breathless, and a foggy mind. I will get better—I will. How long it will take? I don’t know, but I was surprised at how quickly I became tired as I recorded today’s video (available from 6pm UK time today, Saturday 2 November 2024).
Despite being unwell, I’ve continued to be creative. In this video, I show a few drawings I’ve done in a new A5 sketchbook from Sakura.
Quite a few of the pages have been heavily influenced by the work of the fabulous Rebecca Blair. I love how she uses patterns, textures, and simple colour palettes to create richly decorative work. Her use of collage is simple yet effective, something I need to learn from!
If you know me, you know I love patterns, textures, and motifs. I like stylised, abstract, intricate art. I usually let my work grow quite organically, yet there is something delightful about creating a tapestry or memory map of patterns, textures, and motifs that bring joy and using colour that creates a certain feeling.
Rebecca Blair uses quite simple colour palettes, often monochrome-ish, and I have found that this works for me, kind of, in the pages I’ve created so far.
I’m not saying I’ve cracked it yet, nor have I found a way to incorporate all of this into my art. I’ve clumsily used watercolour to add colour to the floral elements, but I love how I’ve used colour in the various sections.
Looking back on these pages, I remember when I created drawn collages of elements from, say, an abbey I was visiting. This involved not drawing the entirety of the building but the parts that caught my attention. I’d sketch the patterns, shapes, and sculptural elements so that they flowed from one to another. In this way, a kind of sampler of my visit was created, a record of what fascinated me that day.
I like this idea of creating memory hoards of patterns, textures, colours, and motifs. It’s a revisit, yet a start of something new. To link with this, I intend to create my own hoard of favourite elements, such as ATC-sized cards, stored in pockets in a ring binder for when I need inspiration. This project can be done when I feel the need to be creative but don’t have the energy/focus to do anything else. That’s the plan, anyway.
So, I really need some tea before I even think about tackling this, maybe a nap too.
‘MaryShel’, the tangle for day 2 of #InktoberTangles2024, was formulated by Alena Light. It’s a delightful, organic tangle in its original two variations. However, I couldn’t resist playing around with the basic principles of the tangle—the initial ‘s’ curve and the ‘lobes’ that grow from it.
I had played around with the tangle in a sketchbook, and some variations appeared in this collection. However, a few didn’t, and I also realized that many more could be created.
Not all the variations appeal to me, per se, nor do the ways I’ve added patterns to some. It is all about exploring, however, and not all discoveries will be pleasant ones! However, the not-so-pleasant ones are the ones that lead to reflection and learning.
I also like the softly coloured background with some stencilling on it. I achieved this by using Distress Inks—Rusty Hinge for the background and stencilling and Walnut Stain (I think) for the darker edging. I used Rosa Studio Watercolour paints to colour the individual MaryShels. A burnt sienna Prismacolor pencil was used to add drop shadows.
Although this page isn’t perfect (and it wasn’t ever meant to be), I very much like the colour. It’s warm and friendly compared to yesterday’s ‘Ambler’ exploration. The black and grey Ambler on the off-white paper has such an austere and cold feel. Perhaps I need to try some coloured Ambler!
I didn’t fuss around too much when adding watercolour; too much tends to break down the Canson Imagine mixed media paper. I just used very simple, mostly flat, colour washes, intending to add shadow with textures and patterns and highlight with a white Posca pen,
The patterns/textures/highlights/shadows are the parts that have not been completed. However, I want to work on larger-scale drawings of MaryShel variations.
What will Day 3 of Inktober Tangles 2024 bring? I don’t know, but it’ll be fun I’m sure!
Yesterday, I did a live stream on YouTube, where I tried my hand at creating collage papers, making collage and mark making. It was an interesting experience, but more about that later on.
The topic of adventures came up in my wintering and the change in title is a result. For me, art is always an adventure. I’m always trying out new things, exploring older ways of working, and developing in my artistic expression.
Adventures aren’t necessarily big trips to far away places. There are so many little daily things that feel like adventures to me- the change in light through the day, the weather, the rhythm of the seasons and stars, the humourous behaviour of my neighbourhood jackdaws. There’s also reading new books, listening to stories and documentaries, trying new dishes, listening to music that is new to me, and so much more. I have a great deal of curiosity and desire to know more about myself and the world that I live in.
It’s a good thing that an adventure can be described as new ideas and grand mysteries. It’s about enjoying the journey with no time pressure, no idea of a destination, just a desire to discover more about how I like to express myself creatively and, through that, learn more about the more profound mystery that is me.
Over the years, I’ve dabbled a bit with collage but never really found how I like to use it other than as an interesting background in a sketchbook or maybe a pleasing arrangement of papers at the edge of a sketchbook page.
I love paper, however, and want to use different kinds of paper, and perhaps fabric, in my work. However, whenever I try to, it doesn’t feel right.
All of my artsy journey has been an adventure. I try out new things and retreat into the familiar when I feel uncomfortable with art, life, and myself. But even with familiar methods, things change due to experiences. Progress is always made. Lessons are learned. Insights are gained, especially from what I don’t like about something and what can be done to ‘fix’ it.
So, chatting in the live chat as I created part of this collage, the idea of my blog changed to reflect my description of how art is a great adventure. I thought of “Angela’s Adventures in Art,” but Judy suggested “Art is the Adventure.” I chose that, though I was tempted by “Art is the Way,” a bastardization of “This is the Way” from the Mandalorian.
And so, now the time is to change the name, but not the web address of my blog; that will remain artwyrd.com.
Collage
I am intrigued by collage, mark-making, and mixed media. Yet, whenever I’ve tried them in the past, I’ve usually felt disappointed in myself.
I remember looking at the collages by Juan Gris during my A Level and loving his work. I actually created a quite nice collage using his methodology. However, I never really followed it up. Yet, the distant memory still brings a sense of joy and, I think, excitement. I have problems identifying my emotions, and they are often faint to boot.
Anyway, I love the work of so many mixed media artists, and I admire their skills and creativity. Again, I’ve tried mixed media many times, and each time felt like a fishie out of water.
I’ve recently looked at collage and bought some books that demystify the process, or so I thought until I tried my hand.
I wasn’t happy with the colours. I glued papers down before I should have. I didn’t think about the scale of the page (A5) when I decided to put really thick black lines. I had to troubleshoot the mess I felt I made of the little leaves down the stem/trunk.
Today, I’ve spent sometime treating this page as a page to reflect on my experience and create a kind of journal page as a result. (Hence all the writing on the page). I’ve also added some patterns and makes in pen and watercolour.
Also, I made some more collage papers to try again. This time, I used Canson Imagine mixed media paper, as watercolours and Distress Inks work well enough on it.
I know I need to consider the size of the paper I’m using as a substrate when cutting or tearing the collage elements. The same is true for the pen thickness.
I have an inkling that my strength may be in more abstract work. Last night, I tried creating a collage that would look like a collection of buildings, but it didn’t feel right. That’s a good thing, though, as it’s something else to reflect upon and make notes on the page.
I really hope I can find my way with collage/mixed media. It will let me use my love of pen drawing, patterns, textures, symbols and stylised art in a different way. I have a desire to involve my love of different kinds of paper in my work.
At the moment, I just feel lost at sea, without a paddle or rudder, and at the whims of the currents of creativity and art.
I was dithering about showing this debacle of a collage publically. Then, I realised that if I am going to write about my arty adventures, then I need to recount the tougher, messier, unsuccessful parts.
The perfectionist and the messy debacle
I have been plagued by perfectionism all my life. I can get very disheartened when my desire for something pleasing to the eye and heart falls even a little bit short. In this case it falls, to my mind and heart, a lot short.
One thing I have learned that this is ok. I’ve learned that even if something is a messy ‘failure’ it is a success in many ways as it’s an opportunity to learn!
I certainly have a lot to learn from this particular collage mini-adventure. But the adventure isn’t over. I have some new coloured papers to use. I’m going to stick with the A5 sketchbook and work on a smaller scale and try out more abstract/stylised shapes. Keeping it simple to begin with may be a very good idea.
I like the idea of using the colours in the collage paper to be the colours used in any artwork, lettering, stitching etc.
And, if nothing else, learning that my adventure may be to discover that while collage and mixed media may not be for me, I can still enjoy the work of others. It may lead to new ideas, new techniques, a different way of deconstructing and reconstructing motifs and patterns going forward.
I can’t possibly predict how this side-adventure in my artsy adventure will work out. All I know is it will lead to interesting places with plenty of things to learn from the experiences it offers.
Shells, spirals, foliage and arcs. Things that make me smile!
This drawing was a departure from my recent, more whimsical work—a much-needed change. Indeed, change is as good as a rest. Not just a rest, but the change brings a different kind of energy to my drawing and to myself.
I’ve found it very difficult to settle to do art for more than half an hour or so for a few days. I’ve felt a bit ‘bored’ with the whimsical things. Perhaps jaded is a better description. I’d become frustrated with watercolours, with colours, with my hand lettering.
So, it’s time to take that break from the whimsy and spend some time with pen and paper and some abstract twiddles.
One thing I’ve taken from the whimsical drawings is the use of 01 and 005 fineliner pens to draw with. These are much finer than I’d usually work with. However, they were a delight to use! I like the more delicate lines that result.
I’ve not quite finished this drawing, however. I’ve decided to add some crosshatching to the background. Not solid black, but very fine crosshatching. It’s going to take a while to finish that though.
My Mood
I’m out of sorts today. In fact, I have been for a few days. I’ve been sleeping a lot more than usual. I think I know what’s the matter, and it’s something only I can do something about, even though I don’t know how to do anything about it…yet.
The change in art style, a return to something that is kind of familiar yet a little different, is comforting and a solace for me. It’s like visiting with old friends. It’s giving me a break from the whimsical work that has pushed me towards discomfort with it. So, it’s time to rest in some comfort. As I do so, I will gather my wits and strength to continue the exploration of whimsical people when I’m good and ready to do so.
There is nothing wrong in retreating from discomfort, unease, and that which results in becoming jaded and ‘bored’. In fact, it is essential to find the pleasure once again, to delight in a familiar style of art and remind myself how I need to feel with any creative endeavours.
The areas of discomfort allow progress and new things to be learned. However, it’s a fine line between discomfort being a positive thing, and discomfort becoming a ‘boredom’ that is a sign that the discomfort and dissatisfaction with the work being produced is just too much and counterproductive.
I’ve worked that out, kind of. All I need to do is remember this lesson in the future. That may be difficult, as I tend to focus so much on something new that I find it hard to set it aside for a while. The hyperfocus can be strong! However, I will return to the whimsical art, when I’m ready to. When I’ve refreshed my creative soul and my mood lifts too.
It’s good that I have art styles to fall back on that always bring my contentment and relaxation. Remembering this is the hard part!
It’s been a few weeks or so since I last posted on here, YouTube, and other social media. The reasons are simple yet complex.
Simple because I’ve been low in energy and oompf once again. I’m not entirely sure why, and that’s why it’s also complex.
Having some people-y times is one thing. A kind of low mood and sadness have been lingering, and along with it, the shadows of comfort eating have encroached on my being. My ability to focus is limited, too. I have a fairly firm inkling that there are a couple of other things rumbling under the surface of the blanket of antidepressant meds. Ultimately, I think it may be a combination of menopause and the lingering effects of the huge burnout last year. Recovery from such burnouts can take a lot longer than I think they will. When I push myself, such as people-y times, then all I do is cause a bit of a relapse.
Still, throughout these weeks, I have been creating art. Creepy, Cute stuff was a staple of my arty being for a number of weeks, and I thoroughly enjoyed creating it. It makes me smile, and sometimes, it almost feels like there’s a tale to tell about the images.
Over the past week or two, however, I’ve been delving into the worlds of Danielle Donaldson. I have owned her two books for a while, though I haven’t done much with them. They’re based on watercolour, and that is still a medium that vexes me greatly.
I love her style of art very much. It really appeals to my sense of whimsy. So, as watercolour is something I struggle with, I thought I’d approach some of her exercises to develop some skills and understanding. I have to say that the ones that involve colour mixing and creating squares of colour have been a lot of fun! Some success has been had with the exercises, especially in mixing colours I never would’ve tried mixing. I am fascinated with watercolour’s ‘magic’ qualities, whether in paint form or watercolour pencils.
When I try to add watercolour to drawings, it all tends to go to pot …
As far as drawing goes, I got it into my head to try to draw some of Danielle’s ‘Littles’ – people, that is!
Yes, I know. I’ve always said I don’t do people! However, there is something quite delightful about her style of drawing ‘littles’. Also, it was a little change from the creepy-cute critters and characters!
I have had a lot of fun drawing ‘littles’ inspired by Danielle Donaldson. Indeed, the ‘little’ above is one I drew today, and it kind of represents me! Is it coloured with watercolour? NO! I gave in and used marker pens; that is the way forward for now.
Another thing I explored from Danielle’s tutorials in her books was using a fine mechanical pencil to draw the designs instead of ink.
Pencil instead of pen just doesn’t feel right to me. I don’t know why. I have, however, used a finer pen to draw the designs than I usually would. In the example above, I used a 01 Unipin fineliner; usually, I use an 05!
The hand-lettering in the drawing above *rolls eyes*has let me down. However, the words have meaning to me. Recognising and accepting the differences in me and understanding their source has been an adventure over the past twenty months or so. It’s an adventure that will continue for the rest of my days, I’m sure.
Naturally, I will persevere with the ‘littles’, which are delightfully wonky, as are the whimsical critters and creepy cuties I love to draw. Learning to embrace that wonkiness is a work in progress; the perfectionist in me demands symmetry, not wonky! I can see how wonky adds to the whimsy, interest, and delight of the drawings.
Meet the Scribblings! My kind of quirky, creepy, cute fellows!
The Scribblings is my working name for the wide community of fellows that are appearing in this style of art. That title may change, though …it’s not set in stone yet!
This one I really liked this until I added the greyish blue crosshatching background. I used softer colours that are still vintage. But, I think the background colour has detracted from them – too dark, too textured, both? I don’t know.
I do know, however, that I could kick myself for not scanning the drawing in before starting to add colour!
I know I want to add some shadow around them. Maybe I’ll see if I can lighten or remove the background digitally at some point too.
What I do know is that I have a few more characters to add to my “bestiary” to work with in different ways.
Even though I’m not fond of the background at all, the characters still make me smile. The softer colours have also entranced me too.
I’m delighted with this artwork/illustration. I love the colours, the silly, creepy, cute characters, and the whimsical nature of the design. There was a smile on my face, a giggle on my lips and joy in my heart as I gradually brought the characters to life. The joy also came from the sensuous pleasure of working entirely with traditional media.
I hope I’m gradually getting to grips with using crosshatching and textural patterns to add shadows to the designs. There’s a way to go before I work out all the intricacies and the way I like to do this, but I’m quite happy with it for now.
To add colour, I used Chameleon Color Tones and Color Tops alcohol markers, with a couple of Winsor and Newton Promarkers in places. The Chameleons worked really well for me. Also, I remembered to use tip-to-tip blending so I could fade the colours out with the Promarkers, too.
Today, I very much needed some time to work quietly in an artistic manner. I’ve burned myself out through too much ‘peopling’ in the past couple of weeks. I’d nearly recovered, but an encounter with scammers threw me into total emotional overwhelm yesterday and I now need a few days to recover. Well, at least I will after I phone my bank again tomorrow to start the fraud investigation.
I love to draw and create. My creepy cute critters are currently my favourite thing to do. They’ve followed on from the colouring book I finished at the beginning of this month – “Haunted”, which is due to be released towards the end of October 2024.
Actually, as I think about it, I was playing around with silly creepy creatures about a year and a half ago, but put them to one side for a while.
Of course, the artwork above was entirely for my own pleasure and exploration of how I’d like to create these critters. I already know that some, if not all of them, will be featured in their own artwork, perhaps with a story to tell or some lore about them. I wonder what kinds of things that will be. I don’t know for now, but I trust my imagination will come out in words too. That won’t be now, however. I’m now tired for today and need to prepare for bed, for me and my creepy weirdies to rest and sleep and to dream up some joyful tales. And names. They definitely need names!
This afternoon was sunny and gusty-breezy. The shiny leaves on some rose bushes sparkled and shimmered as the wind danced with them. The wind was noisy as it blew the branches and whistled past buildings, yet the sound was soothing. The energy of the wind and sun uplifted my spirits, and I felt it was time to do an impromptu YouTube livestream.
I knew I wanted to do something similar to my previous video—a pen drawing, graphite shading, and a watercolour background in the ‘white spaces’. So, I did that, and I shared my thoughts and joy with those who found their way to the livestream.
I can’t remember what I wittered about during the 2 hour or so livestream, but I know it mentioned finding joy in small things, a childlike wonder of the world and life, taking breaks from the pressures and responsibilities of adulting wherever possible.
One thing I can say is that even in the darkest times of my life, I’ve always been able to find joy and wonder in nature, books, films and more. It may only give me a sparkle of light for a moment, but that sparkle is a reminder that it will fully return and hasn’t gone anywhere – it’s merely clouded by the dark and low mood that gathers around my heart and mind.
If anything, the darkness allows me to enjoy the sparkles more; they are more vibrant when surrounded by gloom. It would be hard to recognise the sparkles and joy if all was bright. Contrast is needed.
Perhaps that’s why I love using high contrast in my art. In today’s drawing, the darkness of the watercolour background really lets the pen drawing almost glow. The texture in the watercolour reminds me of the subtle patterns seen in glowering clouds or the ripples in a darkling sea. Either description works for the constantly shifting and changing emotions and thoughts; not all are gloomy, as the lighter areas show.
The birds in the left-hand column were a surprise! I certainly didn’t plan that. In fact, I didn’t plan any of this drawing. I just let it grow, one line at a time. Sometimes, a line, or combination of lines, suggests a recognisable motif, and I go with that.
Working intuitively always surprises me; though I may make some decisions along the way, they are instinctive. Speaking out what I’m doing just expresses in words what my hand/eye want to do next.
Turquoise is definitely the colour of the moment with me. This time, however, I added rich indigo to it to intensify the colour and depth of shadow. I let the watercolours play with each other as they will, just allowing the end result to be what it will be.
It’s not easy for me to let go of control in this way, but watercolour is showing me that it is possible. And when I let go, the results are always a wondrous surprise!
Art is the Adventure 