Expressing the inner workings of me?

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Two pen drawings I share with you. One with chalk pastel color added, the other black ink alone.

In both drawings I’ve used a limited number of patterns and textures, a limited texture palette, if you will.

This, along with the limited colour palette in the upper artwork, bring a feeling of cohesiveness and calm to what are quite intricate designs.

I think calm is the correct word to use, but I’m not sure. I have trouble identifying and recognising emotions unless they are very strong.

Over the past few weeks, months perhaps, I’ve needed a lot of gentle, peaceful time. When I am like this, I tend to go inside myself and withdraw from the world and social media. I’d like to believe that healing is happening unbeknownst to myself. Healing that brings peace, harmony, acceptance of lots of things that have happened in the past eleven months or so.

It’s been a turbulent time for me in terms of physical, emotional and mental health. I sometimes feel I’ve lost my way, or have too many interests and sources of inspiration for art.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve begun to go back to this style of art, an artistic expression of my inner self, my unconscious. Or at least that’s what I’d like to believe.

There’s always a pleasure and joy in drawing for me. However, when it flows in a truly intuitive way as in these two drawings, there is a sense of other things happening within. Peace, calm, yes. But also a feeling of harmonious creation in the design that flows from my pen.

Did I really make a conscious decision to use so few textures? I’m not sure at all. It just felt the right thing to do as I worked.

Of late, so much of my work has felt disjointed, I cohesive, out of balance. These two don’t feel that way to me; well, maybe a bit.

Look at me, writing about feelings after saying I’m not aware of emotions. But this feeling is more of an aesthetic appreciation where my art satisfies a part of me in some way. I have no vocabulary that can explain more. Perhaps I don’t need to explain

I wonder if this is just comfort art, or whether it’s a sign of self acceptance and healing. Maybe it’s both or neither, but I do feel it is showing a change in the inner parts of me emotionally and mentally.

If my art brings you a sense of calm, gentleness, pleasure, or another numinous feeling of enjoyment, no matter how small, then I’ve shared a part of myself through my art. At the same time I’m discovering more about myself and my journey, I trust.

Entangled Art 20 October 2023

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The last couple of weeks have been … tiring. I’ve needed plenty of quiet time and rest. I have been drawing, and this is my latest drawing. It’s taken about a day’s work or so.

I’m quite happy with it. The open space creates balance with the fussier areas.

All the lines are ones I enjoy drawing. It never ceases to amaze me that the design possibilities are endless even with just a few shapes I like!

Will I add colour and/or shading to this one? I don’t know yet. Shading is needed at the very least. But, I’m not sure what to use to do that – graphite, chalk pastel, or another medium, even digital art.

There’s absolutely no rush for me to decide; the drawing isn’t going anywhere.

It’s still been a pleasure to lose myself in drawing for a while and to delight in the intuitive drawing that appears as ink flows from the tip of my pen.

#abstractart #pendrawing #linedrawing #entangledart #AngelaPorter #Artwyrd #artist

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Some of my latest work.

I’m enjoying the movement of pen and line on the paper. It’s like writing, but with line and shape and texture.

This intuitive way of working, I draw lines that I enjoy the motion of brings me contentment, peace, calm and enjoyment.

I’m beginning to wonder why I am forever thinking that this is not good enough art. I’m questioning myself why I keep exploring new media, new styles, new inspiration, especially as it leads back to this kind of art.

Perhaps it’s because I find this so easy to do and therefore don’t value it. Perhaps it’s part of my journey to extend my memory hoard of lines and motifs that I love. Perhaps it’s to discover new patterns and textures I like.

I know that colour vexes me, though I enjoy drawing on a coloured background, Also, I enjoy adding colour digitally which allows me to change colours when I realise the colours I’m using are not pleasing to me.

I like adding contrast, and working with very simple colour palettes. This lets me play around with layers and dimension.

The one thing I need to remember is to leave ‘white space’. I’m learning the power of this.

This is gentle, soothing artistic activity for me as I am going through a yeuchy IBS flare up, which I think may be linked to dairy this time. It’s also making me very fatigued. But I will get through this! I seem to be more resilient than I think I am.

Inktober 2023, Days 1 & 2

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Inktober 2023 Challenge

I’m a little late with these two, but I will try to complete the #Inktober2023 #Inktober official challenge!

Inktober is about challenging oneself to create art daily, every other day, or however you choose. It’s more about building up a regular drawing practice, with daily prompts to get the creative juices flowing. It’s not about competing with other artists/creatives.

There are so many Inktober challenges going on that it can be difficult to choose one. In the last couple of years, I’ve chosen to participate in the Inktober Tangles challenge. But this year, I really didn’t feel excited about it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the prompts, but for some reason Zentangle didn’t float my boat, so to speak. I think the greater personal challenge of the Inktober official prompts called to me. But, we’ll see how that goes!

Of course, Inktober is all about drawing with Ink. But I’ve started adding some colour for Day 2’s drawing. I’m not sure that was a good idea, but I’ve not completed it yet! It’s at that regretful, icky partway complete stage. Also, I’m not sure I’ve accomplished the hand-lettering in the spiders’ bodies well. It is what it is, and Inktober is about drawing, taking part, challenging oneself, learning more about artistic expression, and not perfection.

I’ve decided to incorporate hand-lettering where I can. I really could do with the practice and exploration of including hand-lettering in my art.

I may use coloured backgrounds in some of the remaining days of Inktober. We’ll see!

Other stuff

The past couple of weeks have taken their toll on me. I’ve been diagnosed with IBS and asked to follow the FODMAP diet for up to eight weeks. The FODMAP plan aims to calm the digestive system by eliminating foods from the diet known to cause IBS.

I’ve been following it for the past two weeks and I have days where it’s a lot better than it has been. However, I’ve found that some of the ‘banned’ foods on the FODMAP have caused IBS flare-ups – notably sweetcorn and some of the Quorn products I’ve eaten.

I must admit, I really miss onions and garlic (though I can use garlic-infused oil). Oh, and peas, and mushrooms. But hopefully, once things are calmer I’ll be able to reintroduce them, fingers crossed!

As I’ve had several days without IBS in the last week or so, how a flare-up feels is very noticeable. To think I’ve been living with those conditions for a long while is shocking!

I am determined to persevere with it! In fact, I’m quite excited about cooking with FODMAP-friendly gluten-free flour and other products. It’s kind of interesting. Being a vegetarian makes it a little more challenging, but I’ve now got a couple of great cookbooks to inspire me.

I’ve also had a busy couple of weeks that have involved people-ing and some stressful things. That all takes its toll on me, and stress of any kind doesn’t help with IBS that’s for sure!

The remainder of this week will likely be busy for me, with people-ing occasionally. I’ll get through it all, albeit exhausted.

And that’s where Inktober will come in useful. Drawing always helps me relax, calm, and destress. Having prompts to guide and inspire my artistic pursuits will surely help me. So, I hope to return to my ‘normal’ in posting blogs and videos.

However, a new normal may be needed as I discover more about myself and how to keep myself from burning out. I will figure it out, as I already have with trying to space people-ing and adulting out!

Mandala WIP

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It’s been too hot for me for the past few days. I’ve seriously wilted and haven’t been able to focus much. The very broken sleep during the hot nights hasn’t helped.

Today, however, it’s been cooler in my little nook of the world, thankfully. So, I managed to add colour to one of the two colouring pages I need to get done for Daydreams to complete that project.

To keep myself awake this evening, I’ve had a bit of an exploration of creating art without any visible line art.

Now, this isn’t something I do much. I dip my toes into this style occasionally, particularly with digital art. I seem to get on better with it when working digitally.

Every time I work this way I wonder why I don’t do more of it. And then I get distracted by contracts and the like.

As I work this way it feels very uncomfortable, almost unnatural. There are bits of this work that I like. The bits I dislike are mainly the areas filled with blobs and the chosen colours. I really like the curves and the shapes created. I also enjoyed figuring out how to add texture to the areas of colour. Oh, I love the way the colours practically glow against the charcoal coloured background.

I realise I need to get my head around using layers in my digital work as that would make it a lot easier to change colours and parts of the design I don’t like. Tonight isn’t the night for that though; I’m just about asleep as I type and try to think!

Oh, the shapes and forms are very much inspired by the work of Ernst Haeckel. What has flowed from my surface pen onto the screen of my surface studio has definitely welled up from my arty heart and subconscious.

I started off without a sketch. But, I decided to sketch out the main shapes/motifs for the remaining layers. I rather like the ghostly chalk-like outline hinting at the next phases of work.

Seed Pod Variations – A sketchbook/journal page – 7 Sept 2023

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This was so lovely to do! I love seed pods, and working on variations to see what will flow in ink from the pen tip is always a delight.

Not stressing over ‘oops’ moments, or not being happy with a drawing isn’t an easy thing to do. However, I push along, knowing that this is a sketchbook page.

Sketchbook pages aren’t meant to be perfect, finished or aesthetic. They’re pages to explore and experiment. Even the wobbly drawings I’m not happy with can turn out to be ones I’m happy with, once I work with their bare bones and add detail.

There were certainly a few gaffes on this page. But instead of gaffes, I like to think of them as starting points to work from as I have worked out something I don’t like in this instance. That is always a valuable experience and leads to new skills, techniques, etc.

I only added colour and shade to some of the seed pods. They give me an inspirational nudge if I need it when I look through a sketchbook. They act as a reminder that colour and/or shade breathe life into a line drawing, especially when the line drawing looks very simple and bare of embellishment.

There are so many ways to add embellishment to a simple line drawing, that sometimes it’s nice to leave the simplest line drawing as an invitation to work with it and create more variations and a later point in time.

I have a video that shows how I created this page on YouTube. It is available to view from 18:00 UK time tonight, 7 September 2023.

Colouring Page – 5 September 2023

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A nice morning spent drawing a mandala and adding colour to it. Well, part of it! The full design fits an A4 page with margins.

Mandalas are always so soothing to draw. In this case, I knew I wanted to start with a sunflower motif. And it just grew from there!

There’s a late summer / early autumn kind of feel to the colours I’ve used. I’m eager for the colour of the world to start to change and for nature to be at her most glorious! I know I have a little time to wait, but it’s getting closer. The quality of the light is changing as the seasons change. There’s a feeling of liminality about the world – it’s neither one season nor the other. It’s a threshold of the year, a point of change.

I feel excited as I think about autumn’s incipient arrival. I’m reminded of Bilbo and Frodo in Lord of the Rings who love walking in autumn. The warm enough days to wander, though at the moment it is just way too hot in the valleys of South Wales. Then there are the cool, refreshing nights where sleep is so easy compared to the heat of summer.

There’s a feeling of magic in the air. I feel it, and contentment and wonder follow.

It is these small moments of wonder that raise one’s spirits constantly. They’re there if we just take the time to pay attention to them. Then, for a while at least, we can put aside our worries and troubles and enjoy something full of beauty and awe.

That can be hard to remember when I’m having one of my wobbly days. I’m trusting the autumn will bring a sense of wanderlust to me. The wandering may not be far in distance, but in observation and enjoyment of the natural world, the wandering will be great, bringing inspiration and joy, wonderment and magic of its own. Memories to treasure in words and images.

A Verdant Border – 4 September 2023

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It’s been a week! But first, the arty stuff…

I thought creating a journal page with a border would be nice. So I did! And this is the result. It ‘feels’ very Arts and Crafts to me. What do you think?

I completed the design by using a dark green Staedtler 0.4 Triplus fineliner and Faber-Castell Pitt Pastel pencils. Let’s not forget white dots for highlights courtesy of a Pentel Hybrid Gel dx pen!

When the line art was finished, I wasn’t sure whether I liked it or not. But, as I added colour and the resultant shade and light, I started to warm to it. When I’d finished, I realised I really did like it, lots!

There is a ‘Draw With Me’ video for this design available on Youtube and here’s the link:

#DrawWithMe video on Youtube from 8pm UK time, 4 September 2023

The last week…

I’ve been struggling with energy levels for a while thanks to anaemia. So, I’m taking the iron and B12 supplements as prescribed so I hope it will improve.

However, on Tuesday last week, I was diagnosed with a case of shingles and put on a course of antiviral tablets for a week.

I’ve just been feeling more meh, or MEH, than usual, so tired and unable to think straight. So, I’ve been quiet, resting up and needing a lot of naps.

I was warned it would get worse before it got better, and it did. Also, it will take at least 4 to 6 weeks to fully recover, though that could be longer.

So, that’s the reason for the lack of posts

Some of August’s Artyness…

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August has been a weird old month. I managed to get all the pages for my next colouring book called “Daydreams” done. The work was enjoyable, but the constant fatigue hasn’t been. All I have to do now is to add colour to two templates!

I’ve managed to get some videos done, too, three in the last few days! They can be seen on my YouTube channel @AngelaPorter.

I have rediscovered an old love and source of inspiration – Ernst Haeckel. I bought myself a collection of his work for my birthday. It fascinates me and entrances me – both the beauty, the detail, the stylised way of drawing and the science that goes with it! It’s all the things I love most about scientific drawings and illustrations. And that love has followed me through my life.

Unsurprisingly, I’ve dipped my toes into the richly inspirational waters of the Arts and Crafts movement. Again, the wonderfully stylised yet richly intricate designs fascinate me.

I’ve taken time since finishing the artwork for the book to indulge myself in sketchbook work, pattern and motif explorations, and the simple joy of drawing.

I had thought about creating a ‘junk’ journal. Well, more of a sketchbook cross art journal cross zibaldone/commonplace book cross journal cross elements of junk journaling.

As I started to work on it, I got so overwhelmed. So, I started to put together a disc-bound sketchbook. As I’ve added work to the sketchbook, ideas of how to incorporate elements of the various kinds of journals/sketchbooks start to make sense.

This tells me I really do need to stop getting overwhelmed and start with a drawing. Then, just trust that creative intuition will work its magic and meld ideas together – one at a time.

One thing at a time. One thing at a time, as in one focus at a time, is easy to do. I find it hard to juggle multiple projects. I have a couple or more on hold. I know if I start on them again, then that project may totally take over my focus. But starting at any one of the projects after a break can fill me with anxiety and fear of failure. I know that to do nothing is the only real failure, but picking up a project after a break from it and having to pick up the flow of it again …

Well, perhaps I need to learn to trust the creative and inspirational flow and put aside the fear, doubts, and negative inner voice. Easier typed than done!

Linked to this is I’ve started to read Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”. It’s surprising how much of this I recognise so far – I just needed the words for how I work. I am going to work my way through it, though. I have a feeling it will be very valuable to me. And some lined paper for the daily pages has arrived today, so no excuses tomorrow morning!