I apologise in advance for the not very good photos of my textile work. I’ve not worked out how to get good photos of it – the sparkles, shimmers and iridescence don’t make it easy, that’s for sure.
For the Princess Royal
This was presented to the Princess Royal when she opened a new care home near the school where I teach on 14th Feb 2011. I hope to have pictures of it being presented to her sometime soon …
I was asked to make a small piece for her on the Tuesday before and it had to be finished by the Friday for framing. So, a lot of time was spent on this. It took around 15 to 20 hours of work, and it seems every available spare moment I had when I wasn’t sleeping, eating, driving or working was used. It is just 9cm x 9cm in size.
I am pleased with the final work, and the photograph really does not do it justice at all (and for me to say that is a huge step forward in my self-esteem and self-belief!).
Looking for a title…
I finished this one not long ago. It’s around 7cm x 14cm. It’s been a source of relaxation and pleasure during a major stress-out this week. I think think my stress levels have been steadily rising over the last few weeks, between one thing and another at the ‘college of knowledge’, mostly the behaviour/attitude of the pupils. I’ve never known it be so bad. Yesterday I hit my limit of stress, and passed through that barrier to release it, and last night and today I have paid the price for it – headache, upset tummy, extreme tiredness. So, today I have spent completing the above piece of de-stressing, relaxtion therapy. Over the past several days it has taken around 20 hours or so to complete. I’ve stumbled across a way to make the large, rectangular ‘sequins’ on the picture. The photo doesn’t show how the colours change and the work shimmers and sparkles as you view it from different angles.
During my weekly sessions of trying to put the marbles in the right places and getting them to stay there the focus has been on self-love, self-esteem and self-confidence, or rather the lack of all these things within myself. I’ve come a fair way during the past several years in terms of personal progress, but these are the knotty issues at the root of everything and my excess weight is a symptom and not a cause of them. Indeed, my weight may even be a barometer of my internal emotional health.
I spent sometime research what self-love is. In my mind it’s been equated with those who shout loudly about themselves, who profess themselves to be wonderful in a strident manner, and who are egotistical to the point of excluding any one else in their lives. And now I’ve kind of worked out what self-love is about those ideas are totally off the wall yet are indicative of how hard the self-talk has been programmed to believe that if I were to love myself, to consider myself worthy of good things then I would be like these loud, boastful egotistical people and that is something I would not wish to be.
Self-love is subtle yet powerful. It involves having faith in yourself, being there for yourself, caring for yourself. It’s recognising your talents, achievements, strengths, positive qualities and allowing yourself to be proud of them, to praise yourself for all your successes. Not in a loud, boastful, bragging kind of way, but quietly, reinforcing all that is positive about yourself and in so doing gaining a positive self-image, a healthy sense of self-worth, of having a quiet confidence about what you are able to do. It is about being your own best friend as you are the only constant in your life.
In learning to love yourself, you allow others to love you too. This is a big lesson for me to learn, and it’s going to take time to overturn the thought patterns, the neural nets that have reinforced my poor view of myself over 40-odd years of my life. So it’s not going to happen overnight.
Now, I do have a bit of an interest in things of a spiritual nature, things considered ‘new age’, psychic, metaphysical, parapsychological and so on. There are some circles I move in where I discuss such things, there are others where it is never mentioned, such as at work. My own thoughts on things like crystals things is that they are tools, props, symbols to focus on that help change the thought patterns or emotional patterns to more positive ones. Whether each crystal truly has a different energy, whether colour influences us or not, if we believe it to make a difference, to help us, then it will. Science is recognising more and more that there is a link between our physical health and our emotional or mental state, so anything that helps to promote a more healthy mind-set or inner emotional climate must have an effect on physical health. Mind you, that’s all an over simplification of something that is most probably more complex, and my views are likely to change as experience, knowledge and I change. That’s part of life and how we grow.
Anyway, I digress. I decided last weekend to look into self-love and to find which crystal or crystals would help me develop self-love, self-worth, self-esteem and rose quartz seems to be the most important one to do this.
Rose quartz is a stone of gentle warmth and love. It heals emotional wounds and pain and in so doing it opens the heart to the beauty that is within us as well as the beauty that is all around us. It promotes self-acceptance, self-love and self-worth. It enhances all forms of love including self-love, mother love, caring, kindness, compassion, platonic and romantic love. It encourages us to open our heart and to be tender, peaceful and gentle. It teaches forgiveness and tolerance. It helps us to emanate unconditional love and a nurturing nature and in so doing it helps us to attract positive, gentle, non-judgemental unconditional love into our lives.
There’s a lot more about it than this on the world weird web and in books on crystal healing and metaphysical topics. It is suggested that you carry rose quartz with you in a pocket, as a piece of jewellery or, if you are a lady, to keep a piece in your bra close to your heart! Of course, it’s useful to hold while meditating or working on personal issues in other ways. It can act very subtly but also very deeply by bringing up past hurts so they can be examined, the reactions to them can be altered and then they can be let go of.
I’m going to use a piece. I have stumbled across a methodology for self-love that I’ve adapted to my particular way of thinking and spiritual path and will be using that as a focus to help me move forward. As it resonated in me, it’s something important for me to do, and something practical to do some personal work that I would usually shy away from for it being too painful. I’m going to be rather secretive here as I’m not going to post any details of the kind of meditative practice here.
Well, I think that’s another knee-jerk reaction to the apparent failing standards of education in Wales. The Welsh pupils tested in the latest PISA tests slid down the table, so now it’s all panic stations by politicians wanting to prove that they improve education.
So, annual reading tests, more training on literacy and numeracy, more stringent performance management policies …
Has anyone thought about looking at how the curriculum and how it is delivered is different in Wales (or the UK for that matter) to the better performing countries?
Has anyone thought about the social importance placed on education? What about the expectations of the area in which the pupils live, the familial expectations, the peer group expectations for education? What about the support given for education by the parents/carers of pupils? What about the changing attitudes and behaviour that are making it increasingly difficult to teach a whole lesson without disruption, except with a minority of very motivated, enthused pupils?
What about the status of teaching as a profession?
It is my experience that teachers are always blamed for falling standards, but few people will voice the fact that we are constrained by the curriculum which details what we are expected to teach and how we are expected to teach it!
I think looking at what is taught, when it is taught, and changing society’s view of eduction should be focused on. Stop gap knee jerk reactions won’t bring about the increase in standards that are needed.
I finished this one this morning. I was lacking inspiration for a title, but a dear friend of mine said it reminded him of the Gloucestershire hills covered with ripe corn. So that’s the title!
I struggle with landscapes, full builidngs, street views and the like if I try to make them ‘realisitic’, yet when I simplify things, add pattern and colour things seem to work out just fine. I think I’m just going to have to accept that though I can do very detailed, precise drawings of some things, others will need my skills at simplifying and patterns and the play of shadow and highlight to turn them into something abstract though inspired by landscapes, buildings, and so on…maybe.
Today has been a frantic day in work. Problems with mobile phones on in class, one madam actually was on Facebook! Confiscation and all the hassle that causes ensued. The noise today has been … almost totally unbearable, as has been the general lack of cooperation and respect. I’m beginning to think there should be a total blanket ban on mobile phones in school. They’re causing no end of trouble and disruption to lessons now. The school does have a telephone system itself and if there is a reason to contact parents, or a reason for parents to contact their little darlings then it can be done via that system. It always used to work perfectly fine as I remember. The rules about having phones turned off (not just to silence) during lessons don’t seem to work, and the problems/issues that result from this …
So, I am so glad to be home. I was met, unusually, by my pusscat who purred and fussed around me until I followed him upstairs to make a huge fuss of him (and he of me) before he settled back down to sleep.
Now, I am sat tippytapping at the ‘puter keyboard and my nose is being comforted by the delicious smell of a winter veggie stew cooking on the hob.
There is nothing like a hearty stew to warm the cockles of ones heart, or to comfort an over stressed me. I will be making dumplings to go in it a bit later on in it’s cooking. Then, when all is cooked to perfection, I shall enjoy eating it while cwtched up under a cuddly and warm fleecy blanket. I’m sure the warmth and the goodness will sooth my frazzled emotions, will calm my jittery nerves, and I will feel so much better. I already do, in fact, as the process of caring for another living creature and then taking the time to create a healthy, hearty feast for myself has been an example of self-caring.
Stew Recipe
No quantities will be given, just ingredients … I’m very much an instinctive cook and just seem to know how much to put in by looking. Of course, I vary the ingredients depending on what I have available or what I fancy.
Onions, fried in vegetable oil. Today I added some Quorn Steak Strips and fried them until they were browned. Next I added some roughly diced swede, parsnip carrot and potato and coated them all in the quorn and onions. Red split lentils and pearl barley were then added and stirred around to coat them in the cooking juices. Pepper and salt were added and then boiling water. A couple of Just Bouillon veggie stock cubes, a sprinkling of mixed herbs, a couple of cloves of garlic finely sliced (they’ll disintegrate during cooking) and a healthy dollop of English Mustard.
It will take around 45 mins to 1 hour for the lentils and pearl barley to cook. Around 20 minutes before the end of this time I will add dessert spoons of dumpling mixture – approx. 4oz of self-raising flower mixed with 2oz of veggie suet, salt and pepper to taste and maybe a few more mixed herbs. A little milk and water is used to mix it to a sticky dough. The lid is replaced on the pan and it’s all left to cook for 20 mins or so.
Served with a good shaking of veggie worcestershire sauce, it is one of the most comforting winter dishes I know!
I like to have more parsnips than swede and carrots; they give such a lovely, sweet flavour. Sometimes I will add brussel sprouts and mushrooms to the veggie mix, but not today. Sometimes I don’t use the Quorn. Sometimes instead of putting potato in the stew, I’d boil or bake potatoes separately. Today it’s a one-pot feast! And there’s plenty there for tomorrow too!
Well, it’s just over a fortnight into the month and me being back and work and juggling everything else that goes on in my life such as taking and going to meditation classes, meetings, workshops, talks has meant that the time I have spent at home has been almost total ‘down time’. Chilling with mugs of tea and a DVD or several is about all I’ve been able to do. It may be a good sign that I am taking that time out and not filling my time up with busy-ness.
Stress hit a high on Friday with a confrontation with a pupil … and the fear that I may have done something wrong, that I will end up being told off for it, and yet common sense tells me that I did nothing wrong (apart from shout a little loudly). I was annoyed and angry with myself for letting my temper ooze out, though I regained control very quickly, and gained a stress-headache as a result of keeping things in. There was no chance to let the temper out as I was on the roller-coaster of lessons yet again. I wish I could have a ‘get out of lessons free card’ like some of the pupils, just for a few mins to gather myself back together. I now have another set of negative automatic thoughts and reactions that now need de-programming, or perhaps that need revisiting in the light of some further insight.
Having said that, this was a lesson I had to take as soon as I got to work after a counselling session that ended just half an hour or so before the lesson. It was an emotional session, with me trying to face up to my emotional eating, self-image, self-confidence, self-esteem and weight issues … sometimes I think I should just phone in ill. I have leave of absence for these sessions simply because I give up my non-contact time in the week to attend them so that I have no classes to be covered.
Any suggestions for a career change for me?
I think this may be the only way out of what seems to be constant source of stress in my life, and with the way attitudes towards education have changed, both among parents and pupils and the low value placed on education and the lack of respect for teachers from parents, pupils, government and the wider society it’s not going to change, is it? A way out, but I have no idea what else I would like to do or could do (bearing in mind I do need a certain income to pay the bills …).
Crystals
Thinking about stress, I’m always trying to find ways that work for me to relieve stress in my life and so stop me becoming totally drained and heading towards a dark place.
Meditation certainly helps no end, but that takes a fair amount of time, time I don’t have in the normal school day. Morning and night not a problem, but during the school day … not even at lunchtime do I have time that is mine. So, I do look at other things. Square breathing that can be done ‘on the fly’ to regain control of some part of myself and my emotions, for instance.
Crystals may be another way of helping myself … though I’m not always convinced about such things. I also have mixed views about the rape of our planet, our home in the Universe, for it’s precious resources that cannot be replaced, well not in our life-time at any rate.
I did have an interesting experience with a tumbled piece of sodalite that I purchased after a particularly emotionally harrowing counselling session a year and a half ago. I was fondling it while having a make-over in the Body Shop. There was a cracking sound and a piece of the sodalite had broken off and crumbled. Now, I’m not strong enough to do that, there were no obvious flaws that I could see in the mineral, and it would most likely have broken into two pieces if that were the case, but to crumble into what looked like blue sand …
Crystal therapists and ‘experts’ I’ve related this tale to tell me that was a sign that some powerful healing had happened, and that such breakages are not uncommon.
The scientist in me is very sceptical about anything like this, even though I know that I did end up feeling better sooner than I thought. There was a sudden easing of my emotional distress, whether that was due to the crystal or the make-over or just a little bit of time and space I don”t know – too many variables to say which one it was! Or maybe it was just a combination of them all.
Sodalite unites logic with intuition and opens spiritual perception, bringing information from the higher mind down to the physical level. When used in meditation, the mind can be used to understand the circumstances you find yourself in. This stone instills a drive for truth and an urge towards idealism, making it possible to remain true to yourself and stand up for your beliefs.
Sodalite eliminates mental confusion and intellectual bondage. It encourages rational thought, objectivity, truth and intuitive perception along with the verbalisation of feelings. As it calms the mind it allows new information to be received. Sodalite stimulates the release of old mental conditioning and rigid mind-sets, creating space to put new insights into practice.
Psychologically, this stone brings about emotional balance and calms panic attacks. It can transform a defensive or oversensitive personality, releasing the core fears, phobias, guilt and control mechanisms that hold you back from being who you truly are. It enhances self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-trust.
Sodalite aids, among other things, the throat, vocal cords and larynx and is helpful for hoarseness and digestive disorders. From The Crystal Bible, Judy Hall.
Well, that most probably covers all I’ve mentioned in my experience of sodalite, as well as issues I’m working on. I do remember just finding myself attracted to the sodalite in the display of crystals in the shop, which was Exquisite Earth in Merthyr Tydfil. I also remember the owner telling me to look up the crystal in a copy of ‘The Crystal Bible’ by Judy Hall and at the time it perfectly suited the situation I found myself in, and still do. However, I am working my way through to the other side, and I am certainly a lot, lot better than I was back then!
Art
Art has taken a bit of a back seat to life in general lately. I am hoping to lose myself in some art in the very near future – such as as soon as I’ve finished this blog entry and got a mug of tea! I don’t have a lot of time this afternoon as I have a talk to do tonight.
Two shimmery pieces of art. Both 8cm x 16cm finished sizes. Both completed using Sakura pens, metallic pencils and either metallic pens or iridescent watercolour paints.
Pure bliss to do, as well as relaxing, calming, comforting, uplifting… chasing the blues away.
I’ve kept a journal for the past 9 years or so now. Originally I used A4 hardback notebooks, now I use A5 notebooks as they are far more portable and can accompany me on my travels as they slip easily into my handbags. I can write and let my feelings flow into my journal whenever I wish and I don’t need access to a computer of any kind or size. Also, the process of writing with a pen slows my thoughts down and helps with inner reflection. I find this particularly useful at the end of the day, to reflect on the day, to get out any problems or issues. I then always spend some time focusing on the positive points of the day before closing my journal and going to sleep, hopefully gaining a balance in favour of the positive over the negative views of my life.
I started my journal when I started exploring my spirituality, and since I started there have been relatively few days when an entry hasn’t been made. Some days the entries are really short, other days they go on for pages and pages and pages. I’ve moaned and groaned into them. I’ve written about thoughts/feelings I don’t want to share with anyone else for fear of upsetting/hurting them. I’ve recorded the highs and lows of my life, the things I’d like to remember, and sometimes the things I’d rather forget. I’ve wittered on about all kinds of things, worked my way through problems and issues, allowed my subconscious mind to let the words flow onto the page to help me with insights. The process has helped me to realise I do have emotions, and to start the process of recognising them, expressing them, and doing what I can to become comfortable with them. A lot of my journalling is very personal and I’d not want anyone to read them while I’m still here on this Earth. But who knows, in the future I may meet someone or someones who I’d be comfortable in allowing to peruse my journals.
I’ve not looked back on my journals, not yet, not while I’m still undergoing counselling. They record some of my darkest times in recent years as well as memories of the dark days of childhood, adolescence and earlier adulthood. I don’t think I’m strong enough yet to face them and not be pulled back into a dark place. When I’m ready, no doubt I will read them, and then I will realise just how far I have come along in terms of personal progress. I’m hoping that when I read back through them, I’ll recognise the stages of unfolding my true self, the healing of the wounded soul, the successes rather than the perceived failures.
It was nice to read this article, some of the reasons for keeping a journal echo mine, some don’t. It was also nice to see that other people keep journals too.
Of course blogging is the modern form of diary or journal, however they do tend to be about things we are willing to share with others. Still, there are some things that just need to be kept between a writer and their journal and I hope that the art of journalling or diary writing will never disappear.
Time to change your calendars and diaries over! Happy new calendar day for MMXI!
The Sun and the Year
It takes the Earth 365.24219 mean solar days to orbit the Sun once. This is slightly more than our nominal 365 day long year, so every four days we have a leap year, with 29 days in February instead of the usual 28. This still isn’t quite right, so the last year of every century is not a leap year unless the year is divisible by 400, which is why 2000 was a leap year but 1900 wasn’t.
There are four key points in the Earth’s yearly journey around the Sun.
The Solstices are where the Sun appears to stand still at solar noon for a few days, this means that it is in the same position in the sky at solar noon. Solstice comes from the Latin sol for Sun and sistere which means to stand still. Around the 21st December each year, the Sun is the furthest south from the equator in the sky and we in the northern hemisphere experience the Winter Solstice, the shortest day in the year. Around the 21st June, the northern hemisphere’s Summer Solstice occurs, with the Sun being at it’s most northerly from the equator. This is the longest day of the year for us.
The Equinoxes occur in between these points. The Vernal Equinox occurs around the 21st March and the Autumnal Equinox around the 21st September each year. On these days, the Sun is directly over the equator. These are days where the hours of daylight and night are approximately equal, and the word equinox comes from the Latin equi meaning equal and nox meaning night.
To our modern eyes, the cycles of the Sun are important in terms of determining the seasons, the weather, agricultural practices and so on. But that wasn’t always so.
The Moon and the Year
To early man, it was the Moon, with its cyclical waxing and waning that was the more obvious object to use to measure time and all the earliest known calendars are lunar, based on the phases of the Moon. Indeed, the word month comes from the use of the phases of the Moon to split the year up into segments.
It takes long and complicated sums to link the cycles of the Moon to those of the Sun. A lunar month is 29.5306 days long, so a twelve month lunar year would last just over 354 days and so is around 11 days out of step with the Solar year. If we were to follow a lunar calendar, it would take just about 16 years for the seasons to be completely reversed.
Julius Caesar and the 1st January
Whatever the religious reasons may have been to keep to a lunar calendar, it must have been obvious that it was the cycles of the Sun that had the biggest effect upon human activity. It was the turning of the seasons that determined when crops were to be sown, when they were due to be harvested, when the weather would be good enough to set sail, and for so many other things too, yet the lunar calendar was still in use, with all the problems of errors and corrections that needed to be made until the Julian calendar was introduced by Julius Caesar in 45BC.
Caesar learned of this calendar from the Egyptians. Legend has it it was at a party thrown by Cleopatra in his honour. The Julian calendar was based on a 365 day year, with an extra day thrown in every 4 years. Each year had twelve months with thirty or thirty-one days, except February, and the 1st January was set as the beginning of the year.
The calendar as we know it today was now more or less in place. It was regular, secular and based on the real movements of the Sun.
Dark Times
Emperor Constantine (d. AD377) imposed Christianity as the major religion of the Roman Empire and he placed the design of the calendar back in the hands of religious groups who were still wedded to the traditional lunar movements for their major festivals. After the collapse of the Roman Empire, the Christian church was the nearest thing to an international controlling committee and the West entered a long, dark time where scientific enquiry was frowned upon at best and considered heresy at worst.
The Gregorian Calendar
By the C16th, the western world was stable enough to attempt to reform the calendar. The small errors from the Julian calendar had now become noticeable and annoying. In 1582 Pope Gregory finally announced changes in the calendar to correct these faults and prevent them from happening again, including the 400 year rule for leap years mentioned previously.
He introduced what became known as the Gregorian Calendar, and ordained that 5th October should become 15th October to bring the calendar back in line with the physical world. This was a much needed and a sensible solution to the problem of the calendar.
However, the changes were not universally accepted, especially in Protestant countries such as Britain. The changes were declared to be a ‘Popish plot’ designed to undermine their credibility. For more than a century following this Papal decree, half of Europe was 10 days ahead of the other half!
It took Britain until 1752 to adopt the changes, by which time it had to correct the calendar by 11 days to bring it back into line with Gregorian calendar. Philip Stanhope, fourth Earl of Chesterfield, initiated this move by introducing a Bill to correct the ‘inconvenient and disgraceful errors of our present calendar’. This Bill was signed into law by George II on 22nd May 1752. Chesterfield’s Act decreed that Wednesday 2 September 1752 be followed immediately by 14 September 1752 and also that the New Year was to start officially on 1st January.
Art is the Adventure 