During my weekly sessions of trying to put the marbles in the right places and getting them to stay there the focus has been on self-love, self-esteem and self-confidence, or rather the lack of all these things within myself. I’ve come a fair way during the past several years in terms of personal progress, but these are the knotty issues at the root of everything and my excess weight is a symptom and not a cause of them. Indeed, my weight may even be a barometer of my internal emotional health.
I spent sometime research what self-love is. In my mind it’s been equated with those who shout loudly about themselves, who profess themselves to be wonderful in a strident manner, and who are egotistical to the point of excluding any one else in their lives. And now I’ve kind of worked out what self-love is about those ideas are totally off the wall yet are indicative of how hard the self-talk has been programmed to believe that if I were to love myself, to consider myself worthy of good things then I would be like these loud, boastful egotistical people and that is something I would not wish to be.
Self-love is subtle yet powerful. It involves having faith in yourself, being there for yourself, caring for yourself. It’s recognising your talents, achievements, strengths, positive qualities and allowing yourself to be proud of them, to praise yourself for all your successes. Not in a loud, boastful, bragging kind of way, but quietly, reinforcing all that is positive about yourself and in so doing gaining a positive self-image, a healthy sense of self-worth, of having a quiet confidence about what you are able to do. It is about being your own best friend as you are the only constant in your life.
In learning to love yourself, you allow others to love you too. This is a big lesson for me to learn, and it’s going to take time to overturn the thought patterns, the neural nets that have reinforced my poor view of myself over 40-odd years of my life. So it’s not going to happen overnight.
Now, I do have a bit of an interest in things of a spiritual nature, things considered ‘new age’, psychic, metaphysical, parapsychological and so on. There are some circles I move in where I discuss such things, there are others where it is never mentioned, such as at work. My own thoughts on things like crystals things is that they are tools, props, symbols to focus on that help change the thought patterns or emotional patterns to more positive ones. Whether each crystal truly has a different energy, whether colour influences us or not, if we believe it to make a difference, to help us, then it will. Science is recognising more and more that there is a link between our physical health and our emotional or mental state, so anything that helps to promote a more healthy mind-set or inner emotional climate must have an effect on physical health. Mind you, that’s all an over simplification of something that is most probably more complex, and my views are likely to change as experience, knowledge and I change. That’s part of life and how we grow.
Anyway, I digress. I decided last weekend to look into self-love and to find which crystal or crystals would help me develop self-love, self-worth, self-esteem and rose quartz seems to be the most important one to do this.
Rose quartz is a stone of gentle warmth and love. It heals emotional wounds and pain and in so doing it opens the heart to the beauty that is within us as well as the beauty that is all around us. It promotes self-acceptance, self-love and self-worth. It enhances all forms of love including self-love, mother love, caring, kindness, compassion, platonic and romantic love. It encourages us to open our heart and to be tender, peaceful and gentle. It teaches forgiveness and tolerance. It helps us to emanate unconditional love and a nurturing nature and in so doing it helps us to attract positive, gentle, non-judgemental unconditional love into our lives.
There’s a lot more about it than this on the world weird web and in books on crystal healing and metaphysical topics. It is suggested that you carry rose quartz with you in a pocket, as a piece of jewellery or, if you are a lady, to keep a piece in your bra close to your heart! Of course, it’s useful to hold while meditating or working on personal issues in other ways. It can act very subtly but also very deeply by bringing up past hurts so they can be examined, the reactions to them can be altered and then they can be let go of.
I’m going to use a piece. I have stumbled across a methodology for self-love that I’ve adapted to my particular way of thinking and spiritual path and will be using that as a focus to help me move forward. As it resonated in me, it’s something important for me to do, and something practical to do some personal work that I would usually shy away from for it being too painful. I’m going to be rather secretive here as I’m not going to post any details of the kind of meditative practice here.